naladahc | tripping along the golden path

The Texas Ch

So breakfast was partaken at Road House Annies. Matt, The Pickett, and The Kelly were in attendance, along with a rare appearance of The True and Rightful Only One Named Dan and and even rarer appearance in the Nalaworld of his sister Beth, recently returned from that United Kingdom.

The food was ok. The conversation was good. And of course I had steak and eggs.

I went out into the Jungle that is the yard and started pulling down the many weeds and huge tree-weed things that have grown since June. It is totally a shame and I am quite guilty of not doing the proper upkeep. This house in general is just too big. I'd love to have a smaller apartment.

I think I'll spend about 30 minutes on my stuff in the basement. Yes. The basement I have bitched about on these pages for years now.

The yard. Once a token of pride for me. I would plant flowers and deweed the rather large brick patio. Last year Matt, The Monica, and Andrea did it whist the Cousin and I were in San Francisco. This year Matt and I did it. About $200 worth of flowers and such. It was very pretty at one time.

It was a fine yard. It had two beautiful trees, with one a bit ill but trying desperately to survive. The patio, while not the best was wonderful to sit out and have wine and chat and such things. But of course that was those were the times when Andrea lived in Cowtown...and before The Monica was dating. It was a time of wonder in the land of the village. And things were good.

Two-Thousand-One brought a fine Springtime. And with such weather, young boys in the village with property and dirt are want to plant flowers and make things pretty. Such was the case at 356.

And so he dug up the old wooden boards one cool Sunday morning and reset them to give the walkway balance and keep it in check. And the other helped make sure they were in.

Then the two went out. They went out and bought flats of impatients and begonias and marigolds. They seeded some areas with new grass, and planted a yard that even Martha, looking down from the other lands would be proud of.

Many hours were spent. At night it was watered. It was raked and kept beautiful with flowers in pots and a little lilac on its fourth year.

What Laziness Does...
Now it should never have happened. But the troublesome lawnmower used to cut the grass broke. And his new job took him to Boston for a week and they neglected his yardly duties.

This was June. Summer had not fully set in. The humidity and dank that is a Cowtown July was creeping in slowly but it was not here yet.

And yet they remained lazy. They did not work hard. They did not care.

And all the beauty they had brought forth retreated into the vastness that was the weed.

Such a sad site really. The poor small black and tan dog...unable to walk through the huge savannah grasslands that the yard had become. Entangled in morning glory vines that were running rampant, the small hoont even got ensnared once. It was sad.

And thus it came to pass. The beaury gone. The grasslands overtaking the patio each day. And no lawnmower to cut the vegetation so growing...cancerously throughout the place.

The Deforestation Begins
It will require work. But that has already started. The deforestation began on Saturday. Too late really for a full day could not be given.

The poor fences that provided a no-hoont zone so the young budding flowers and plants could grown was overtaken by the morning glories. They claimed it as their own and would not return it.

But in time...perhaps it can be made livable again. And the two who should have maintained the beautiful yard...they shall burn in hell.

The casualties so far:

6 Begonias
A plethora of marigolds
The jesus cross made of marigolds
Many dusty millers
The patio

The wounded:

40 or so impatients
12 marigolds
6 hostas
2 lilys

Matt has done a good job on his new Gigafit page. The best use of white space I think I've ever seen him use. (And you can see his new abs and look at his package too! These are some of my new toys!)

Well...the presentation is all done for tomorrow. Nice little bound 54 page booklets with charts and photos even. Way more than they probably expect.

And all I have to say is "titz" to the presentation I designed for the IT department. After apparently years of bad confusion they now understand what it is my department does and how we interact! Yay for Nala!

Hmm...I have a case of "sticky" keyboard, yet there is no logical reason why I should have this situation...hmmmm....

A few days ago I came across Pornolize.com. Of course I had to try it out on the old site here. And well... Here's a sample of Saturday's "pornolized" entry" -

"The asslicking yard. Once a spewing token of pride for me. I would plant creams and titty fucked the fucking rather large brick patio. Last year Matt, The sucking Monica, and Andrea did it whist the titty fucking Cousin and I were in San "Buzzwordbaby" Francisco. Barfs year Matt and I did it. About $200 worth of sucks and such. It was very pretty at one time.
And then...it all went to total hell.

So breakfast was partaken at Road "Cock Sucker" House Pecks. Matt, The jerking Pickett, and The titty fucking Kelly were in attendance, along with a wanking rare appearance of The ballbusting True and Rightful "Asshole" Only One "Fuckface" Dripped Dan and and even rarer appearance in the deep throating Nalaworld of his sister Beth, recently deep throated from that Cuntlapped "Cockboy" Kingdom."

Wow! I think my favourite is "the jerking Pickett and The titty fucking Kelley"!

Tomorrow no doubt promises more comic schlock. Let's take a look shall we at all the geekage coming out...

Birds of Prey #34
"Power Girl, Blue Beetle and Militia guest star as Barbara prepares for an all-out rescue mission to save Canary, who's in some really deep waters right about now! And speaking of deep waters, there's a pool of the stuff waiting for her, and three deadly enemies ready to give her the dunking of her life! The surprising conclusion to this story arc has consequences that will change Canary forever! And we do mean forever!" ALL I GOTTA SAY IS POWER GIRL IN THE SHITTY GOLD AND WHITE COSTUME SUCKS BALLS NASTY! PERHAPS DINAH WILL GET HER CANARY CRY BACK AND WE KNOW THAT SHE MAY GET HER UTERUS BACK! (SHE AND OLLIE HAVE A DAUGHTER IN MORE THAN A FEW OTHER TIMELINES!)

Deadman: Dead Again #3
"A battle rages though the streets of Metropolis as Superman and Doomsday fight to the death! It's a death Deadman can't prevent, but he can make sure the body Ñ and soul Ñ of the Man of Steel aren't used to further the forces of evil." ACK! YUCK! PEEE---EWWW!

JSA #27
"Captain Marvel visits the JSA to deal with Black Adam, and the big confrontation that's been brewing finally erupts! Plus, Dr. Mid-Nite and Mr. Terrific discover a startling revelation about the health of one of their teammates, and a new Chairman is elected under less-than-friendly circumstances." YAY! THIS PROMISES TO BE ONE OF THE BETTER BOOKS OF THE DAY!

Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Wonder Woman
"The most surprising project of 2001 continues as comics legend Stan Lee presents his take on Wonder Woman Ñ illustrated by Jim Lee! In the jungles of Peru, beautiful idealist Maria Mendoza is powerless to save her father from a local tyrant. But when she discovers an ancient artifact Ñ a golden staff Ñ that connects her more fully to her heritage, she becomes a paragon of power the likes of which the world has never known. " JUST IMAGINE NALA PUKING HIS GUTS OUT READING THIS. HOWEVER, JIM LEE'S ART IS ALWAYS TOP NOTCH!

Swamp Thing #18
"In this issue, two legends return: essential Swamp Thing artist John Totleben paints the cover, and the original Swamp Thing returns to confront TefŽ over her deeds. TefŽ counters him with an even more pointed question: If Swamp Thing is a god, why doesn't he try to end human suffering? In this emotional story, the true purpose of both Swamp Thing and TefŽ will be revealed." SIGH. THE LAST ISSUE. ANOTHER GOOD BOOK BITES THE DUST!

The Monarchy #6
""Making the Metropolitan," Part 1 of 3. If Jackson King's plan for world salvation rests on having the perfect team at his side, what's he doing in Hollywood courting "The Last Angel" Ñ a down-on-his-luck adventurer who spends more time nursing his wounds than protecting the innocent? The answer is guaranteed to surprise you as King gives a hard-luck hero a brand-new lease on life!" WELL, AT LEAST THIS BOOK KEEPS ME COMING BACK FOR MORE!

Superman: The Man of Steel #117
"Guest-starring the Captain Marvels, the Atom and Wonder Woman. It is perhaps the darkest hour of the War as heroes have fallen and allies have turned against one another. And there is more death to come. Is it any wonder that Superman has fallen into despair? Unable to tell friend from foe, he's about to shed all his humanity to end the war once and for all! " MORE WORLDS AT WAR SHIT. I HAVE TO GET IT CUZ OF THE MARVELS. SIGH.

Superboy #91
"An "Our Worlds at War" tie-in! The earth-shattering events of the War have taken their toll on everyone, prompting Superboy, Guardian and Serling to each write about what they've seen and the tragedies they've experienced. Within these three letters are resolutions of internal conflicts, questions raised over what's occurred during the War, and fears over what the future has in store. Plus, the Dog of War, Krypto!" ANOTHER PIECE OF SHIT. BUT I HAVE TO BUY IT FOR KRYPTO!

Elektra #2
OH LOVELY. TWO COVERS! FUCK THIS MARKETING SHIT!

---
Kudos to Nala. Yesterday's presentation to the IT department bore results as all of the orders that were placed on 'hold' have been released and will now be purchased. I can once again do my job the way I envision it to be.

Quite an exciting turn of events.

Here's a geek link to quite possibly my favourite comic series of all time, next to Sandman of course. Just disregard the really shitty New Voyages series at the bottom. That was horrid.

So I'm troll'n around google.com and I come across a Mego Toy Museum site. If you were a kid between 1967 and 1974 or so this may hold special appeal for you. It did me.

So...another day of meetings by phone with Washington, and by videoconferencing. So much fun.

Anyhow...it is time to say goodbye to a not-so dear old friend. Ahhh...you've been with me for 10 years now, since the college apartment on 13th. You've seen your share of cigarette ashes, bong water spills, kool-aid messes, miscellaneous man stains, and of course most recently you passed into the possession of the hoont.

Your days of reeking like hound are over.

G'bye old couch. I'll say this for you though...you've been through hell and still did the job. Perhaps a caring soul with no sense of smell will pick you up and take you home.

So I walked into the UDF at First and High and asked for a vanilla malt.

"You know vanilla is extra?" the local, possibly inbred girl said.

"Um...what's extra?" I asked.

"Vanilla."

"If that is extra, then exactly what ice cream do you use to make malts and shakes?" I replied.

"Malt base" she said.

"Malt base? What exactly is malt base?"

She showed me this tub that plainly said 'Malt base' on the side...the contents appearing for all intents and purposes like frozen whitish ice.

"How much extra for vanilla?"

"A dollar-fifty."

"Just make the thing as is."

I took home this malt made with 'malt base', this chocolate flavoured syrup, and some form of 'malt flavour'.

America is almost over.

So yet again a cousin who has planned on coming down to Cowtown has stood me up. At least this time I didn't waste all my time planning like I did in March. I don't understand how those I share genes with can never seem to make finalized plans.

So...The Monica turns 30 today. Joining Andrea and myself in our Post-20s lives. Now if I am not mistaken, that may just account for the entire Brazilia crowd...but I can't be certain.

I have: really really horrible pains originating in the center of my back
I see: Hensley, Krypto the Superdog, and Siddartha staring at me
I hate: meatloaf
I miss: Earth-2
I wonder: how much longer I have to endure the horrors
I find: there is never enough time to clean up dachshund poopies
I want: that cathartic moment where I am no longer me anymore
I regret: not being able to do certain things better
I need: a center
I wish: the revolution would come sooner
I fear: meatloaf
I hear: the fan in my G4 tower and Gorillaz
I love: banana cream pie
I smell: a trash can that needs to be bleached badly
I crave: steak and eggs at Road House Annies or Tommy's
I feel: like a song by Morrissey

When was the last time I...
Talked to an ex: 5 minutes ago
Kissed someone: well, i think i kissed the meow
Were sarcastic: my life is an endless series of sarcastic moments
Laughed: I think I laughed at Pickett last night
Cried: oh, almost daily
Had a nightmare: I don't remember
Danced: Years ago
Smiled: when I looked at the ass of our hippie chick server last night
Bought something? $31.50 worth of comics on geek-day
Last book you read: Tripping: An Anthology of True-Life Psychedelic Adventures
Last song you heard: Take Five by Dave Brubeck
Last movie you saw: American Beauty finally
Last thing you had to drink: coffee
Last time you showered: yesterday morning
Last thing you ate: raw tuna, last night was sushi night

Do you...
Smoke: Rarely anymore
Do drugs: during the dark times...before the rise of Nala v3.0
Live in the moment: truly a dream
Sleep with stuffed animals: they are on the shelf above the bed
Have sex: on occasion
Play an instrument: I don't think acoustic dachshund belly bang'n is "play'n an instrument"
Had a dream that keeps coming back: oh, you mean the horror of this life?
Believe there is life on other planets: Yes.
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? No. Not really.
Consider yourself tolerant of others: For about 5 minutes. And then...that's when the acid kicks in.
Remember your first love? Yes.
Have any straight friends? Almost entirely.
Read the newspaper? Daily.
Still love your first love? Yes, in many ways. I think it is impossible not to.
Believe in miracles: No.
Have a favorite candy? No.
Wish on stars? No (But I wish Starman was still being written!)
Believe in God: No, I managed to get over this hurdle.
Believe in magic: Didn't she die of the Legacy virus in X-Men?
Believe in astrology? No. But am intrigued by aspects of personalities.
Like the taste of alcohol: I am not much of a drinker.
Hate yourself? Not myself. I just have my inability to create change.
Talk to strangers who IM you: I torment them.
Have any bad habits: Still bite fingernails and tend to try and fart around Matt when he cannot escape.
Like your handwriting: Hahahaha. No. It is unreadable.
Collect anything? Comics and occasionally some cool toys.
Have a secret crush? I still fancy the all being master of time space and dimension every now and then.
Have any piercings? Had several. All closed.
Have any tattoos: No. Just doesn't do anything for me.
Go to church: Only as dictated by funeral/wedding protocol.
Have any pets: Naladahc's Hensley Chu.
Wear hats: No. I do not have a head for hats.
Pray: No.
Believe in ghosts: I believe in the conservation of energy and mass.
Care about looks? Would I be wasting time at a computer if I did?
Believe in Satan: No. (However, I do love the Lucifer comic!)
Believe in witches? No. And did you know it takes about a year to get pagan evil out of one's house too? Yup!
Have a best friend: I am not the friendly type.

So tonight I've invited the fabulous Brownings over for the 2 hour season finale of Six Feet Under...the best television show on...and I even am mak'n my dad's taco salad too!

So I've shared with you all the problems that I've had with spam lately. The countless identical ones with different country domains, the day I got 40 at my yahoo account in one, etc. Now today came the best.

The email I got from "Kate" today...somehow shows how totally all of this shit. is. Click on the email to see the "hoonty" response Kate had to share with me.

a href="http://us.imdb.com/Title?0190590" target="_blank">Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? was also seen. Once again, you'd think someone with my past in Greek classics would have sought this out earlier, it being loosely based on Homer's The Odyssey. Well...it was also great. Adapting the stories of the Sirens, the Cyclops, and various other Homeric elements quite nicely. I suppose one could even say that using the song "You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine" (which I think was used in the 70's by Oscar Mayer Balogna) was even well suited, as the adventures with Helios, the Titan of the sun would be.

Ok. So I also watched the 2nd DVD with Unbreakable. It has an excellent feature about comics, with interviews with Alex Ross, Dave Gibbons, Will Eisner Denny O'Neill, and the every flaky/creepy Trina Robbins. (You can write off creepy men in comics easily, women are a lot harder to do!)

Once again I find myself at home alone on a Saturday night...back killing me and nothing to do...

I rented Unbreakable, and I want to know where the hell have I been the past year to NOT see this film.

Here I am, major comic book geek, and I missed probably the single best story and film ever made about deconstructing the concepts inherent in almost all comic books.

I didn't expect it to end the way it did, but of course there was no other way it could. It was there all along. And me...22 years reading geekage...and I didn't see it coming.

Every other attempt practically pales. Blade...gag! Spawn....hurl! X-Men...well it worked for what it was! Unbreakable is definitely at the top now, up there with The Crow and The Rocketeer for "best attempts" and capturing a comic book on screen. Of course, they are all three different ways of doing so with very different audiences.

Go rent Unbreakable! Preferably on DVD.

Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow really really really really sucked.

Well it has been really really busy this week, with major system configurations of the color management system I am building. You'd think with $80,000 in equipment I could just turn it on and it would be like "zap...beautiful color from scanner to monitor to printer". I'm close, but still a tweak'n!

For future reference, observe the following: Snogg'n after work + The Orkin Man knocking = Major Chaos. You'll live longer if you avoid this combination of events.

Major meow drama last night. Apparently he once again got out, but this time it had to be Monday night when I came home late and let the hoont go poopies. Well, after arriving very very late yesterday, Matt says he hasn't seen him all day. I walked around outside looking for him in the dark...of course he wasn't around.

Low and behold...this morning we went out around 7ish and found him under the shed. Turning the hose on finally got him out. I am presently not really talking to him. Grrr...evil fucking meow.

The Rumer formerly know as Raverboy sent me the best IM of the day "CRumer0993 (8:23 PM): I am not longer young enough for such labels" The label referring to when he was my TNB (Tall Nelly Blond) back in the closing days of the dark ages.

Scotty from San Francisco, and his boyfriend Jose, will be in town next Thursday. The good news is that Allen may be with them, which would rock such major balls. I haven't seen Scotty since the Cousin and I were in Sodom on the Bay last year June, and it has been years since I saw Allen.

Well, I've got today's geek'n to read. All I can say so far is Angel and the Ape rocks. And DC's Our Worlds At War still sucks such enourmous balls of nastyness.

Well...the other scanner has been trained the myriad fun that is high end color scanning!

And since I worked late 3 out of 4 days this week, I get tomorrow off in which I can try to clean and stuff.

We were supposed to go to T town this weekend but I really haven't thought about it much. I think I'll just stay and TRY to get something done around the maxipad. (Regular readers will note that nala says this every weekend usually!)

It wasn't that I felt sorry for him. I just figured no one else would play pool with a drunk mildly retarded guy. And so I agreed to his game.

It would have been a much better game if the staff of Basso had not allowed the retarded man to consume so much liquor. And he also had 3...yes 3 packs of Marlboro Reds that he was chain smoking.

He had an intense fear that I was going to be mad and beat him up...and he reminded me of this approximately every 2 minutes.

He was also constantly afraid that it was a joke, which I constantly tried to remind him that it was indeed not a joke. (NOTE: I'm not quite sure exactly which "it" he thought was the joke. Of course, I could have shared my views with him that in a grand cosmic sense all life and purpose is a joke, and we are merely making due with what we have, but I don't think he'd of had any of that!")

Well...what would normally have been a 15 minute game stretched to about an hour and a half. He also managed to pee his pants sometime during the game.

The really interesting part of the whole event: He won!

Many of you will have no clue why I copied a post from DC Comics Message boards here. For those that do...you may find Mike Stemmle's rants about Our Worlds At War amusing, if not totally accurate. I've bitched about Our Worlds At War for several weeks now...so you can see why I agree with him:

Topic:ÊÊ Lessons Learned from OWAW...
(posted August 23, 2001 02:09 AM)

Well, with OWAW all but over save for the Slam-Dunk "Let's Grieve For Our Fallen Comrades/Explain What The Heck The Whole Story Was About" issue, now might be a good time to reflect on some lessons we've all learned during this summer's annual epic/bloodbath/faceplant...

1) I've learned not to trust any hype that suggests a summer crossover is going to inflict "Crisis Level" changes on the DCU. Tragically, this is the same lesson I've learned nearly every summer for the past fifteen years.

2) I hope that somewhere in the ranks of DC's editorial department, they've learned that it's a really good idea to have *one* writer responsible for the "spine" of your summer mega-crossover. Four writers = inconsistant characterization, people and plot threads disappearing and reappearing with no rhyme or reason, and plot holes you could drive the Imperial Fleet through.

3) The Superman staffs learned to kiss Phil Jimenez's butt. On the weeks when Wonder Woman crossed over into this lumbering mess, Phil almost single-handedly managed to make sense of the whole thing. Almost.

4) I learned that when the chips are down, Superman will start whining to himself like a lost puppy. In contrast, Wonder Woman don't shiv, even with the burned flesh of her recently-killed mother drying on her arms. Don't let anyone tell you that Superman was the focus of this "story"; Wonder Woman was the one who came through this like a trooper.

5) I learned that the Beginning of Time is slowly but surely becoming an EPA Superfund candidate. Imperiex, B13, the Anti-Monitor, the Spectre, Damage, the Infinity Man...it's a regular rave, I tells ya.

6) Frank Rock learned that in addition to the power to look twenty years younger than he really is, he also has the magical ability to completely disappear from a story.

7) Captain Marvel and Captain Atom discovered that they are near-mutes who share in Rock's magical ability to disappear from a story.

8) Apparently, Tempest learned how to shuttle entire mythical cities through dimensional portals...off-panel.

9) Imperiex learned that dressing up like Galactus doesn't make you more cool with the cosmic gods, it just makes you a wannabe.

10) General Zod and his mysterious crew learned that the best laid plans of cool new super-villains can be utterly hijacked when the summer crossover comes a knockin.

11) Superman learned that flying into the sun will cause him to dispense with personal pronouns...but won't burn his cape.

12) Supergirl and the members of Young Justice learned what many a character has learned before...that the best way to survive a summer corssover with your dignity intact is to be written by Peter David.

13) The JSA and the Flash found out a new way...be written by Geoff Johns.

14) Aquaman learned that being a 60 year old comic book character and a bona fide member of the Super Friends won't save you from a confusing, ill-conceived "death" scene.

15) I learned to stretch my definition of "War" to include Vaguely Defined Jumbo Kirby Space Gods Who Want to Reboot the Universe and the Killer 13th Generation Uber Robots from the Future Who Oppose Them.

16) Several of America's dead presidents learned to rotate in their graves as their words were applied to contextually innapropriate comic book panels.

17) The vast majority of DC's heroes learned, to their relief, that sometimes they don't have to show up for a cataclysmic battle to save the Earth from big ol' Space Gods from Beyond. Big Barda and the Spectre were particularly pleased, 'cause they were vactioning in the Bahamas and had turned their cell phones off. Boy were THEY embarassed when they finally got home and checked their answering machines...

18) Massacre learned that when you inexplicably return from the dead, sometimes it's best to count your blessings and hightail it out of Dodge.

19) I hope we all learned never to believe the old "you don't need to read the crossovers" line.

20) J'Onn J'Onnz learned that sometimes he'll be unconscious for an entire cross-over event, only to have his telepathic link utilized at the last moment.

21) Sam Lane learned that the White House's last line of defense against killer robots probably should be something more than a couple of old coots flying a nuke.

22) Black Lightning learned he could fly. I'm sure he was quite surprised. Or maybe he was listening to too much R Kelly.

23) The Amazons learned, once again, the meaning of the words "cannon fodder." Zamorans and Oans, safely hidden away, giggled.

24) Darkseid painfully learned that there was a reason he prefered not to get directly involved with these spandex-filled summer brouhahas. Oh, he also learned what the rest of us already knew, that Grayven was a wanker.

25) I learned that some of my favorite writers are capable of getting in *way* over their heads. And that makes me sad.

What have you learned?
Trying to let it all out in one big whinge-fest,
Mike Stemmle,
Lord of the Ducks