naladahc | tripping along the golden path

Ok. In my sorta-kinda diatribe against my cable TV programming post a week or so ago Creesto informed me that Shadowbox Wired, the televised version of our very own local Shadowbox Caberet is on a lot of Cowland cable stations, airing mostly late nights.

I didn't even know this was on so a big thanks to Creesto for informing me of this.

Time to set the TiVo to record these shows.

And speaking of cable tv, let me rant a minute about SOAPNet.

Listen SOAPNet... 5-6pm every weekday is Snots time.

Got that?

Ok. Now don't go putting on your home grown shitty original programming and taking quality Snots episodes off at random.

Got that!

Five days a week at 5 is Nala Snots time.

Now if you want, you may run Snots at 3 or 4am as long as you run it in its entirety until the end of Season 14.

I have a lot of sitting on my ass invested in your rerunning this series and I do not take kindly to those who don't take kindly of running this show in order and until completion.

I won't mind as much if you do not have the rights to the Back To The Cul-De-Sac and Knots Landing: Reunion "movies" because they pretty much sucked the balls.

But damn you SOAPNet... if you mess with my Snots watching I will put you on the "Official List Of Organizations To Be Purged When Nala Becomes Leader", or OLOPWNBL.

And believe me... if you end up on that list... one day you'll be forced to play nothing but episodes of Snots, Seasons 1 and 2 of the original Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye, and Beast Wars!!!

Don't bring down my wrath!

I have never ever seen voting lines like I did this morning.

I even left at 6:45am to get there by 7 and I finally got through the lines for my precinct at around 8:35.

I saw more 18-24 year olds out voting this morning than I ever have at a poll.

Amazing.

Now here in Ahiya we have one of them there "wedge" issues on the ballot that was designed to get the christian conservative and rural vote... that being Issue 1 the "marriage is only between a man and a woman".

Of course, gay marriage isn't legal to begin with so this Issue is pure shit to begin with.

However, the scary part is the second sentence of the Issue which few people will read. This isn't an anti-gay issue, this thing will also make illegal civil unions or any other attempt to create a civil-legal relationship even remotely appear as a male-female 2 1/2 kids relationship.

If this passes a lot more will be fucked up.

Now I'm not a supporter of gay marriage. I'm not a supporter of marriage in general unless children (birthed or adopted) are involved.

I can never be a true supporter of the current concept of marriage if divorce from that marriage is so easy to get and getting married in the first place means a paying a fee and go'n to Vegas to be married in a couple of hours.

It has no meaning to me because with a divorce rate of 50% in this country it can't possibly have any meaning.

There's the problem. The divorce issue.

And that sure as hell isn't being caused by gay men and women who aren't even legally allowed to get married to begin with.

It is bullshit.

It is typical bullshit politcal illusion-making.

So I voted NO on Issue 1 because it is a pointless useless issue that can only do more harm for non-married straight couples in long term relationships. More harm if they happen to share children.

Voting no maintains the status quo which is perfectly fine. And I don't need to hear another bullshit "if they let gays marry then they'll let polygamy rule and animal marriage happen" arguement.

Yes! This stupid ignorant uneducated argument has been made over this whole gay marriage issue. Ahiya (and other states unfortunately) are like this.

I voted for a tax levy for the zoo too even though I don't go that often. I mean, back in my university days I went a lot because a lot of my fellow anthropologists-in-training worked there and I always got to go behind the closed doors to see how things actually ran. I'm a supporter of zoos to a larger degree, and especially when they are trying to maintain endangered species which the Cowtown Zoo does.

Now Ahiya will probably end up a recount nightmare. Thank god I voted on one of the 20+ year old electronic machines with the paper trail. It is such a simple machine and I don't understand why these aren't the units used around the country.

Ok friends and dear readers of this site who have their own websites or blogs.

Can you please leave a comment or email me with hosting companies that you've worked with that have been really good to you.

I'm going to try to solve my problems with my company but I want options in case I bail.

Yes. Once again I'm getting blog software errors and I've done all I can with configuration and such so I know it isn't my fault. Please leave a comment or with anybody you trust or have info on.

Thanks.

I am grateful for the any info but I won't be giving away free blow jobs or anything like that.

I feel shame at being an Ohioan.

The Age of Reason has now officially come to a close.

The Age of Magicks has now begun.

Fact is fiction. Fiction is fact.

As always, thanks go out to my family for telling me one month late that Emma H. was born.

I always love finding out about births and deaths in my family months or even years later.

The only theme you'll ever need!

Amen, brother.

---

An excellent Fark Photoshop contest involving the Revenge of The Sith teaser poster.

The "What if other popular movies were performed by puppets?" one is pretty good too.

Marc Maron of Morning Sedition read a blog entry done in the form of a concession speech from Adam Felber of Fanatical Apathy this morning that was just great.

Guess what kids?

Yup!!!

Alternator Meister is in the house! Woohoo.

There's nothing quite as exciting as having raspy-voiced Brian D. show up knocking on your office bearing a prized Alternator Meister (he's a Mazda RX-8 ya know)!

So Meister will bring the plastic crack total to 791. I'll definitely make 800 by the end of the year now!!!

Why I remember just this past September thinking I wouldn't make it to 700 by the end of the year.

My how times have changed.

Unfortunately, I'm no farther on getting the attic cleaned up and organized so it just looks like a big mess.

And since this is probably going to be the last weekend where the temperature is above 50 during the day I have to get the back door frame primed which is the plan for tomorrow. The main window still has hours and hours of work on it so that's gonna get covered in heavy gauge plastic for the winter. Probably have to do the side window the same way and just focus on getting the back door primed (and maybe even painted) and the storm door reassembled.

S'all my fault though. I procrastinated before trying the heat gun and lost valuable autumn days because of it.

Now... I'm fighting to find a day above 50°s and this weekend will probably be the last of them.

Maybe I'll be able to get the Attic of Love cleaned by late November.

So the teaser trailer for the next Pixar film Cars is now out.

Man oh man it looks like a modern CGI version of Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch.

Unfortunately, I'm thinking that if there is any one film to finally tank (well... let's just say not be so great) for Pixar it will be Cars.

In this dark depressing week one needs something to keep one's mind off the evil.

Have some kittens!

And then close your eyes and imagine those kittens about 6 or 7 years old screaming all night long and you'll understand why we just love Chester so much.

Ziggy? He pretty much doesn't say much.

I promised myself I wouldn't slack this weekend since this may yet be the last "warn" weekend of the year.

I not only got the door frame primed last night, I got up early and managed to get to Lowes and get the paint (Sharkfin... a sorta grey-blue that was already on the house as trim) and get the frame painted and the east window frame really stripped and sanded and primed.

All I gotsta do tomorrow is paint the window frame, run to Lowes and pick up some screws and tape and order the new storm window, rehang the storm door, and start taping off the other window in plastic since it is highly unlikely I'll be able to finish it off before it gets cold permanently.

And then... maybe... I can get started on clean'n up this here attic.

Since I can't find any photos of the weathered and beaten windows I'm working on, here's a photo of Hensley I found in the folder I thought had the photos in it.

And Matt from a cookout on DooDah parade day when he still had shaggy longish hair.

I cannot believe it.

I rarely if ever email with my father. Once a year maybe.

Not only do I get an email from him tonight, it is a mass email joke!

Trippy.

And it isn't a half-bad joke.

A cabby picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to
ask you but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me." When you're as old
as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. #1, you
have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm
Catholic too!"

"OK" the nun says "Pull into the "next alley"

He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make
a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver
starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"

"Forgive me sister, but I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm
Jewish.

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a
Halloween party."

For my father.

Well I got the window painted so that's done.

I tried my hand at caulking the siding/frame seam on the door and man oh man do I sucks the balls at caulking. Sure... it is functional and all as a seam but man oh man do I lack the skill to make it look like a clean line.

Hopefully a little touch up with the paint here and there will make it look better.

Matt got the yard wrapped up for the season. Once the window is done we can tear down our swing and move the grill and stuff to its winter space on the deck.

Need to find some aluminum screws, preferably with white pan heads, to put the storm door back up.

All in all, I've done a lot.

This week will bring an attack on the attic!

Ok. Two episodes in an I have totally fallen in love with Drawn Together on Comedy Central.

I could not believe that last episode dealt with Princess Clara's enchanted monster octopus vagina, or octopussoir as they called it.

I love this show!!!

So I end up in the attic with a plan to work on the mess and of course I get distracted by the internet whilst cleaning up paperwork on my desk.

I followed some links and watched the teaser trailer to The Revenge of the Sith and all I have to say is... big deal.

Yup.

Big deal!

And in saying this I realized something very important... a milestone in my life to a some extent.

Even though I may still collect some toys, I am now somewhat of an adult and have absolutely no care about the quality of a Star Wars film any more whatsoever.

The bad taste in my mouth still lingers from The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones.

General Grievius? Meh! Large quantities of Wookies in a non-Life Day setting? Meh! Obvious corridors of the Tantive IV? Meh!

I may just be finally turning into an adult.

Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps.

And I read...

The fate of Yasser Arafat was mired in confusion on Tuesday as Palestinian officials insisted in public he was clinging to life even as aides said privately the veteran leader had died at a Paris hospital.

I don't care if you are trying to do politcal maneuvering or not.

There is no state of being undead in reality even though large quantities of the human population fear death so much that they'll believe in the undead and magic.

Bad craziness I tell you.

And in other news, didn't we win this invasion last year? I seem to recall the Retardenführer on the deck of ship declaring mission accomplished.

Oh. I forgot. Fact is fiction and fiction is fact and magicks now rule reality.

And I can start putting down 160lbs, that I resemble Tom Welling, and I'm 11" in my personal ads now too.

Fact is fiction and fiction is fact and the age of magicks makes me all happy inside.

So. I gots some new screws today to put the storm door back up.

Tommorow is projected to be in the high 50s/low 60s so hopefully I can not only get the door back up but the window seam caulked. And caulked better than the sucky ballsness of yesterday. I'll take a little Palochi advice as well as a brush technique that I read today online. Alas, here's hoping the brush technique works with this silicone based caulk.

In other news I watched that Revenge of The Sith trailer again and I really still don't care.

Oh. Omega Supreme finally made his appearance on Transformers: My God This Series Sucks today. Let's just say that this series has not only failed to improve but that it continues to drudge along, poorly translated and dubbed into something that I think may be English by Voicebox.

Pssst... Voicebox... you don't have to translate the idiosyncrasies of Japanese with just stupid "ehs" and "ohs" and "huhs". It was horrible 20 years ago when Harmony Gold did it in Robotech and it sure as hell doesn't need to be done now. Since when have you ever seen this in actual film or television created in English-speaking countries? Grrrr...

Speaking of anime, will the gods of Nippon please please please look down on us poor North American TF geeks and release region 1 English-subtitled DVDS of Car Robots, Headmasters, Chôjin Master Force, and Victory.

Please... Pretty please... with fresh tako on top...

Speaking of plastic crack related things (like that ever happens here), I'm 8 away from 800. Current projections based on my needs/wishes with existing or future bots project out at 906.

Of course, to get to that 906 that's a whole lotta dinero.

But man oh man the Galaxy Convoy is making me all wet.

I mean look at him... all Star Convoy/Super God Ginrai-esque in his 2005 Transformers glory!!!

You cannot deny his super mega awesome transforming power!

2005 is gonna be one helluva year. Well, that is if it doesn't suck.

But Matt and I have agents placed on various isles of Japan now and I sure as hell need to start taking advantage of that for my Takara fix!

Oh yes Galaxy Convoy. You will be mine.

You will be mine!

Oh. And if you are are husband who just gave your old laptop to your wife. One word of advice from old Nala here.

Delete the pr0n man. Delete the pr0n.

Ack!!! In about an hour this auction for a case fresh Japanese ToysRus exclusive Car Robots God Fire Convoy Giftset will end.

It stands at $222.60 right now.

Those in the know will notice that God Fire Convoy is holding the God Fire Sword, one of the most wished for items to hopefully be added to Nala's collection some day.

Oh. To have the God Fire Sword, or a Master Sword for that matter, would be a dream come true.

Now I already have 2 Hasbro versions of God Magnus (Ultra Magnus) and Fire Convoy (Optimus Prime) BUT I WANT THAT DAMN SWORD!!!!!!!!!!

And I want the exclusive clear Car Robots Autobot Brothers!!!

Someday... you will all be mine!!!

Muahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahaa!!!

From the mailbag Katie O'Leary writes...

Sidewipe.

Should I stop loving him? People say he's not real.

I love him and think he's real.

What should I do about it?

Sincerly,

Katie O

3 Book of Primus 15-20 says "Oh lo, though you shall love your Binaltech and therefore vicariously your Alternator Sideswipe, you shall despise your Armada Sideswipe and spit on him and cast him to the ground. But preserve he who was released in 1984 for he and his brother of yellow, mint, are rare indeed."

Perhaps therein lies your answer.

I was cleaning out ye olde Outlook inbox and came across something Danny (he just isn't a "Dan" to me)sent me from a week ago that I must have overlooked.

As reported by Reuters...

A man leaped into a lion's den at the Taipei Zoo to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity, but was bitten in the leg for his efforts.

"Jesus will save you!" shouted the 46-year-old man at two African lions lounging under a tree a few metres away.

"Come bite me!" he said with both hands raised, television footage showed.

Geez. The lion bit him.

Exactly "what" would Jesus save a lion from? An overpowering pack of hyenas? A bull elephant? Perhaps christians themselves?

Quite frankly I think members of Panthera leo are probably deists if anything. I don't see much belief in the undead in lions or other felines.

I was going to blog about the filthy men's bathroom on the 5th floor at my place of employ and the fact that adult men seem to somehow constantly pee on the toilet seats in every stall but I won't.

I just want to say we don't have this kinda problem on the 2nd floor.

And I don't want to sound like a whiny bitch.

Woah kolendy!

Microman Comes To The United States!!!

Takara is actually going to release Microman stuff in the states!

Ya gots to understand this is cool news.

The Microman line, under the guise of Mego's Micronauts, haven't been stateside for almost 26 years. (And I don't count the half-ass shitty Palisades re-issues from 2 years ago.)

Now the original Microman line eventually evolved in the late 70s and early 80s into MicroChange and Diaclone, the source material that became everybody's favourite transforming robot brand.

The latest Microman stuff is heads and tails above the stuff from 25 years ago.

Why did I share this with you?

I have no idea.

While I have only seen the teaser and full trailers for The Polar Express, I totally understand a lot of what people are talking about.

Yup. There's lot of commentary and such on the net these days about how creepy the computer animated humans are and, having this wonderful underused education in anthropology, I understand the phenomena fully.

There does indeed exist a range in which humans tend to react to human-like things based on how "human" they appear.

Mile High Comics has a good post about it, going so far as to quote some research done on what is called The Uncanny Valley.

Up until this point, the more "detailed and realistic" CG animators try to make humans the more creepy and unsettling they appear on screen, often looking like animated corpses and so forth.

It has a lot to do with the unacknowledged information that each of us processes about what we are seeing or viewing in any given situation.

We know exactly how human action and motion is supposed to be and we process this daily in all of our interactions with others without thinking about it on a conscious level.

But deviate ever so slightly from this and you get the creepy effect that currently exists with attempting to create realistic humans.

Now CG animated characters such as Star Wars' Jar Jar Binks tend not to be creepy because while they are anthropormorphic, they are also extreme exaggerations.

You look at Jar Jar and think "yeah, he's a passable animated character, utterly stupid and lame yes, but passable" and don't react to his "fakeness" because he's an exaggeration.

Now in The Polar Express, you have an attempt to mimic the appearance of the book illustrations and make more realistic humans.

But they end up falling into the range of "animated mannequins" and as we view them more they scream "not quite human".

When I first saw the trailer I had that same reaction... creeped out!

Some people have the same problem with differing forms of dolls. They are often representing human-like appearances but there are unhuman-like elements that phreak some people big time. This usually happens with doll eyes and such. More so when animated dolls have been used in films and especially in horror films.

I myself cannot stand clowns, an exaggeration of human appearance.

I think clowns are disgusting and obscene and abominations against nature.

No doubt goddamn evil fucking clowns fall into the The Uncanny Valley for me. Hence, they should be rounded up and tortured unrelentlessly.

But I digress.

I'm kinda glad to see some of this research and analysis popping up now because I dealt with this in the early 90s when working on a paper about ancient art.

So. Have you come across a "human-like" representation in film or television that creeped you out? If so, what what it? I wanna know.

My maternal grandfather died 30 years ago today.

I suppose I never forget this death because it happened on Veteran's Day in 1974 and he was a WWII vet.

Oh well. I was 4 when he died.

The one thing I hold dear is that even at a very young age I have distinct memories of him.

That's good.

My only regret is that I wish I had a lot more.

There's nothing quite like being at work when your partner-in-geekitude emails you from his Hiptop...

Beachcomber, grimlock/swoop, wingsaber anybody?

Omega sentinel too?

So let's see... 793 (adding the World's Smallest Thrust that I forgot about) plus 5 from the crack run puts me at 798... so close to 800!!!

As I recall Red Leader saying in Star Wars...

Almost there.

Almost there.

Well it happened.

The Big Eight-Zero-Zero was reached at approximately 7:30pm on this Thursday, November 11, 2004.

Bad craziness.

Super mega bad craziness!

And if you think I'm quite the loser then I shan't tell you about the 6 I just ordered from BBTS since they knocked down a ton of stuff 60%!!!

Liberals Return To Sodomy, Welfare Fraud

BERKELEY, CA—No longer occupied by the 2004 election, liberals across the country have returned to the activities they enjoy most: anal sex and cheating the welfare system. "I've been so busy canvassing for the Democratic Party, I haven't had a single moment for suckling at the government's teat or no-holds-barred ass ramming," said Jason Carvelli, an unemployed pro-hemp activist. "Now, my friends and I can finally get back to warming our hands over burning American flags and turning kids gay." Carvelli added that his "number-one priority" is undermining the efforts of freedom-loving patriots everywhere.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Readers of all ages.

May I present to you my fully reorganized holy obscenity.

Many of you who work in IT have probably at some time or another come across what I've come across today.

You know... the locked cabinet that has been there since before you were hired.

You've never seen anyone open it. You've never seen anyone talk about it or question the cabinet's existence. Hell, many people who work around it have probably never even noticed it.

This is the story of one such locked cabinet in a department I support and the magical items found inside.

I'm pretty much a stickler for having the software and hardware I maintain properly catagued in terms of serial #s, location, machine installed on, and location of the original media and such.

Doing so requires some effort once or twice a year as software and hardware get upgraded and end-of-lifed and such and in the secondary department I support I've managed to have an exact knowledge of what is where and I can tell you the info you may need in less than a minute.

Now in this department exists the now "unlocked" cabinet of wonders.

Since I wanted to make sure that I have everything properly catalogued I got the key to this cabinet thinking that I should probably know what is in it and all.

Oh... it was like Indiana Jones finding the buried Ark of the Covenant.

Some of the jewels I found today were...

WordPerfect 2.1 for Macintosh
WordPerfect for UNIX
Microsoft Word 4.0 for Macintosh
Microsoft Office 4.2.1 for Macintosh on 30 diskettes!!!
WordPerfect 5.1 for DOS
Mactools
Microsoft Word 6.2.2 for DOS
Netscape Navigator 2.0 subscriptions.
Something called Netscape Smartmarks that I've never head of.

Oh what wonders.

I used to use Mactools back in the early 90s before I switched to Norton Utilities. I learned all about Ramdisk use from this product. Remember Ramdisks???

And finding subscriptions and licenses for Netscape Navigator was just amazing.

The godawful Microsoft Office 4.2.1 that includes the super mega fantastic 4 minute launching Word 6.0 seems to have been heavily used here back in the day too. God that was such a dreadful version. Word 5.1a for Mac is still the finest version of Word ever written for Macintosh or even Windows. Now Word is just a practically useless bloated mess of what it used to be.

And Wordperfect? I have the entire ownership history of WordPerfect here from the old days, to Novell's owning it, to Corel.

Who knows what other treasures I will find. I still have 4 drawers to go!!!

A study in the New England Journal of Medicine found a four fold increase in the risk of an accident for people who drive while phoning -- the same risk as driving with a 0.08 blood alcohol level...

Well duh!!!

I cannot stand when I am coming to work or driving around the Land of Cows and see people on their cell phones trying to negotiate traffic.

I've even seen women driving, talking on their cell phones, and putting on cosmetics while driving to work in the mornings.

HATE IT!!!

I am pretty positive that the chick that totalled Matt's Deluxe Luxury Chevy Cavalier was on a cell phone when she hit us.

I can't prove it of course because I barely remember much other after the impact but I did see her out of the corner of my eye and not only was she not paying attention to the red light I could swear she had her hand up to her head.

While I'm no fan of police invasion of privacy without just cause I definitely think that if an officer sees a person driving and talking with the phone to their head they should be able to pull them over and give them a $500 non-negotiable ticket.

Hands-free sets I'm a bit more lenient on so I suppose I would need to see data on their use and car accidents first.

Now personally, when I see people walking in stores talking out loud into their hands-free cell phones I want to walk up to them and tell them they are an abomination against man and nature. Of course I keep these opinions to myself and just glare at them hoping they walk into endcaps and such.

I am just not a fan of these devices.

What was once a convenience is now a "can't life without" piece of technology and the abuse and misuse is so high that it makes me want to puke.

Children without incomes to pay for them do not need cell phones. Give 'em a goddamn $20 roll of quarters and make 'em use the payphones.

And some say the gains from cell phones and driving are worth some added risk. In 2002, the Harvard Center for Risk Analysis estimated that benefits of a ban (reduced deaths, medical costs, property damage, etc.) would be roughly $43 billion -- or, exactly the same amount as their estimate of the economic value of the calls. Others, such as the AEI-Brookings Joint Center for Regulatory Studies, say a ban would be bad for business. They concluded in 1999 that a ban would result in economic losses of $20 billion.

This of course is why the christian coalitions and other fucked up conservative groups will never ever be able to eliminate pr0nography of course.

The economics are in the pr0n industries favor even though all those people who look at pr0n will burn in hell forever once they are dead and no longer valuable consumers and spenders.

Kelmeister informed me that...

TiVo Will No Longer Skip Past Advertisers (Yahoo!)

Oh. How lovely.

Now of course my television viewing has pretty much been controlled by TiVo since we purchased one a few years back.

If it wasn't for the magic silver box I wouldn't catch Family Guy, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, the shit-filled dreck that is Transformers Energon, The Daily Show, my beloved Snots Landing and oh so much quality programming.

The other day season 10 ended and Abby Fairgate Cunningham Ewing Sumner and her Vagina of Acquisition have departed my beloved Snots Landing and this event is the final nail in the once great Snots Landing seasons. (Here's a special pic of Mills I found. NSFW.)

I firmly believe that the show headed downhill the moment they killed Laura in episode 196, though her wake in episodes 200 and 201 are probably two of my favorites.

Yup. Now that we have Aunt Ginny, the poor man's Lily Mae Clements, and Danny Waleska on the show... (spoilers ahead)

One of Cowtown's most beloved locals and frequent commenter on this site Dan H. has turned me onto Revelation13.net, a fun an exciting site about the undead, prophecies, astrology, and generally other magic that I detest.

I think my favorite part just may be the section entitled "The Astrology of Diseases related to Galaxies" and The Laci Peterson Murder Case - New Age and Prophecy Discussion, and the Bible Code.

Homo sapiens sapiens and the belief in magics never fail to amaze me.

This Flash ad for Yiddish with Dick and Jane rocks!!!

And have you bid on the Virgin Mary In Grilled Cheese auction?

Oh. And in other news I now get Internal Server 500 errors on just posting blog entries. Yay for me!!!

Well yesterday morning I decided to shut off the comment queueing since I hadn't had a single spam since the refresh and rebuild in October.

It didn't even take 24 hours and I got 3 fucking comment spams again.

I don't know how these fucking useless social dregs do it. I implemented 6 different anti-spam techniques and they appeared to work until I took down the MT 3 comment queueing.

Monitoring the pings? Magic asshole dreg powers?

So queueing is back up and I'm back to the drawing boards on what I can do to stop this shit again.

And yesterday the server errors all started again. Now they impact every posting and rebuild and OLM, my ISP, has yet to respond to my tech support request.

Fuck this shit!

Barron posted an entry about pizza over at takoyaki.org to Pizza Hut Japan's menu.

Now I am not a fan of the Hut of 'Za but I'd give several of these a try if they'd offer them in the Cowtown market.

The King of Crab & Shrimp, Garlic Kingdom, and the Seafood Mix are beckoning for me to try them.

I'm amazed at several pizzas that have potatoes on them too. I've never tried that before.

There are approximately 180 hours left until Life Day. Are you ready?

So yesterday found me suffering through what I find to be perhaps the most horrid of situations: OSU Football and specifically the drunken reprobate OSU-Michigan Game Day.

This is the day in which Columbus is taken over by drunken children and my neighborhood, full of these drunken and also retarded children, has to become a living nightmare of screaming and pointless yelling, meandering proto-alcholics, and other pointlessness.

So I was up to my neck in screaming drunken fratboy assholes all day and TA called and invited us over to watch the 1934 "classic" Tarzan and His Mate starring Johnny Weissmuller.

Basically it was about two standard 1930s white Euromales who are on an ivory hunt in Africa, 300 or so black "natives", and Tarzan running around in a loin cloth killing a rhino, a crocodile, various lions, etc., and Jane manipulating Tarzan through various sexual, though cloaked in 30s speak, means. It should have been called Tarzan and the Ivory Hunters since the "Mate" part was totally pointless.

TA's new place is way out 50s suburbia and about as far from his old Victorian mansion as you can get.

But he's got a paneled bar in the basement and that more than makes up for it.

Perhaps he'll come to the 3rd Annual Life Day. Who can turn down Bea Arthur?

M & L, my agents in the land of hanging chads and shrub siblings is seeking out the CostCo exclusive Optimus Prime and Overload plastic crack for me.

Mwhahahahahahahahahhahahahaahha!!!

Oh Hasbro... you can hide the crack in other states and retail chains away from the Nala but you cannot keep it for hidden for long.

Even godawful crack such as this urine-inspired color palette.

Thanks and a "boo ya" go out to M down in the hurricane testing grounds for helping me to acquire 2 Optimus Urines and Overloads!

Thanks a million!!!

(For some odd reason I just think Riley speaks in a 70 year-old New York Jewish accent of the Jackie Mason variety.)

So I was reading Pongo's owner's website this evening and he posted a link to some auctions on ebay that benefit the National Prostate Cancer Coalition and one really aroused my curiosity.

The less than talented Melissa Rivers' panties are up for auction. I wonder if she's worn them or not. I mean that'd be worth an extra $20 or so... especially if she like had them on one those E! red carpet things. And then probably $20 if she hadn't washed them.

Oh Melissa Rivers... you wick'd task master you.

Man the internet brings such wonderful service.

Just last night I emailed Laser and asked her if there was a CostCo near by and she said "yes".

I then used an acient Ohio IM mind trick tought to me by my immigrant great-grandfather to convince her husband into going to CostCo on his lunch to buy me exclusive plastic crack not found here in the Cowlands.

And not only did M do it (along with hot dog acquisition and consumption I believe)... I get to see a photo of said plastic crack in the trunk of his car!!!

Oh internet... you rock.

Except when you don't and suck.

Laser and M are in my gratitude! And I've never even met 'em!

Ok. Now many of you extremely late 20s/early to mid 30s readers can appreciate the Are the toys that are out now cooler than the ones you had as a kid? discussion thread on Fark.com.

Obviously you all know I have my Transformers geek... which is of course odd because it really didn't happen to me until I was 30.

But man I forgot about some of the great toys I had and some of the awesome shit of the 70s and early 80s.

Now I had a Big Trak, a rather massive programmable electronic tank. It was fantastic.

It had this keypad on the top that you could program direction to move and how many feet in which direction to go. It even had this "laser" in the front you could program to shoot.

I didn't have the dump truck component but man did I wear this toy into the ground until the electronics eventually broke.

Nothing... not even a wall of Legos or my Death Star playset could stop the mighty power of my Big Trak!

And what can I say about the Big Wheel. While the pic to the right is a much later version than I had, my Big Wheel offered me the freedom to go around the block for the first time.

Of course, I wore the wheels down to nothing and eventually turned 5 or so and learned to ride a regular bike but the Big Wheel must be remembered for the awesomeness that it was. And the Big Wheel will always be better than it's retarded cousin The Green Machine no matter what anybody says.

And what man of 32 to 35 can forget the Shogun Warriors line of toys which even included a huge Godzilla figure. (Alas, my Godzilla was given to my cousins in the early 80s and was destroyed. I'd die to have it now!)

I still have 2 of my smaller Shogun Warriors (Poseidon and Raider) and little did I know back in 1977 that in Japan, the so called "Shogun Warriors" were something totally different. The anime shows was dubbed and brought over here and I was even broadcast on Showtime around 4pm back then (when Showtime on had movies from noon to midnight) but as an American boy of 7 it was still great, though it seems that puritanical American culture seems to think kids need everything dumbed down.

In my early 20s I discovered the truth about where my toys came from and fell in love with Shin Getter Robo, the modern version of these characters and toys.

Yes. My fascination with robots in my formative years can definitely be seen as what has lead to my current holy obscenity.

Considering 50% of the staff are off today and I have nothing to do at work I'm so happy I read this thread and could share a bit of what now can be viewed as my geek childhood.

Now don't get me started on Elektrawoman and Dynagirl, Dr. Shrinker, or 70's Saturday morning television or I'll be writing all day!

I saw on The Movie Blog today that here's a teaser trailer up for The Return of the King Special Edition coming out on DVD soon.

Fifty minutes of added footage!!! Hell, there's some awesome moments in that teaser that I can't believe were cut from the original theatrical release!

Great shit!!!

And all I have to say is thanks to Peter Jackson for making me feel like a kid again while watching a film. You saved me from the horror that has become the works of George Lucas.

"I am hoping that the appropriators could explain to me why we need $1 million for this — are American shrimp unruly and lacking initiative? Why does the U.S. taxpayer need to fund this 'no shrimp left behind' act?" McCain asked his colleagues.

McCain's query went unanswered in part because spending documents don't identify who proposed each item or why.

Oh American democracy... how I love thee!

This awesome and fantastic flagrant inability to manage a country in severe debt is super mega cool.

Here's to the next 20 years of excellence in government!

Sure I enjoy the time off and all but overall "holiday time off" kinda sucks.

Especially when radio personalities take a week or two off during the holidays and run godsawful "Best of..." shows or even worse, something "unique".

So I went grocery shopping to prepare for tomorrow's Life Day celebration here at the House of Love and already the horror that is America's ability to strip the specialness out of the holidays is apparent.

Yes! Call me a crank! Call me a Scrooge! Call me whatever the fuck ya want but our cultre has so many cancers but one of the biggest ones eating away at our soul is called Christmas and the "holidays".

Last week, Kmart bought Sears in a surprise $11 billion deal, creating the nation's third-largest retailer. What do you think?

"It's about time a serious heavyweight challenged Wal-Mart's position as the most depressing place on earth."

There's major geeking afoot today.

We are off to Mid-Ohio Con today and hopefully Matt'll find some of his flavor of crack there.

There's rarely any of the transforming variety at these kinds of shows but hey... it is something to do on a Saturday morning.

And then of course there's the Life Day Celebration to be followed later this evening at the House of Love III.

Good geeking times.

I'll make sure to get plenty of pics of people dressed up in geek outfits and such.

Alas, Mid-Ohio Con kinda sucked the balls for me. Matt scored on the super hero crack side so I suppose it was good for him. I even bought him his birthday presents early there since at least it was some crack he wanted and needed.

I found some TF related shit too even though I wasn't expecting much.

Scored me a Heroes of Cybertron Seeker PVC Giftset that was an OTFFC 2003 exclusive for only $10 which is about $20-$30 cheaper than the going rate on the web.

Even found an OTFCC exclusive Sunstorm PVC for only $10 too.

Picked up the Hobby Magazine exlusive 2 pack of World's Smallest Optimus Prime and Megatron for $12 which saved me about $10 or so.

And last but not least the lovely Mega PVC of the Japanese-only character Star Saber to go along with the Victory Leo I got in the mail from BBTS the other day.

Goodies galore I tell you!

Well my friends another Life Day has come and gone.

8 new people lost their Life Day virginity today and no doubt none of them are glad they did.

Bea Arthur sang. Art Carney joked. And Itchy, Chewbacca's father watched porn.

Yes. All is happy in the world.

And so The Star Wars Holiday Special gets locked away for another 365 days and won't see the light of day until this time next year.

Some say that is a good thing.

But the people who shared Life Day today here at the House Of Love III know better.

Ok. So I have this problem driving in the dark.

The first time I remember having the problem was back in 1987 or so when I was in high school going to a basketball game and then I really didn't have an "episode" until a few years back.

The headlights and the streetlights start hypnotizing me and then the dizzyness sets in. It isn't a problem really if I'm only going 30 miles an hour or so but above that it gets worse.

Now the last time I had to have my car in for service was when Daylight Savings Time was still going strong and it was already light out so driving to Reynoldsburg was a cinch.

This morning... well... let's just say I freaked out so bad I had to just pull off and come to work and cancel the appointment.

I can't believe I wasn't thinking clearly in scheduling an appointment at 7am and knowing full well my inability to drive in the dark.

Grrrr!!!

Stupid stupid Nala.

So I took the trash out last night and while out in the alley I was startled by this dog hiding out near the trash bins.

He had to be about 8 months to a year old and was really no more than a puppy. He looked to be maybe a shepard mix of some kind and had not collar on. Never once did he bark and he was so timid.

He was so extremely friendly and he just really wanted someone to pay attention to him and no doubt take care of him. He wanted someone to love him and someone he could love. With certain dogs you can just tell this and he was just so in need of care.

I didn't know what to do. I really didn't.

After 5 minutes or so I managed to get him away from the gate so I could come back in.

When I got to the house I saw him wander down the alley and I had hoped he had just accidentally got out and was going home, wherever that may be in the neighborhood.

About an hour later Hensley had to go out and within a few minutes he started barking.

I went outside to quiet him and unfortunately the poor dog had come back and was outside of the gate again. I managed to get Hensley calmed down but I stared at the poor homeless dog through the gate as he just sat there staring back at me just wanting some attention.

I left him there not knowing what to do. I should have acted somehow on the compassion I was feeling but I was just so totally consumed by guilt that I did nothing because I didn't know what to do.

Now Chester the Shithead woke me up around 3:30 or so and I was never able to get back to sleep.

I easily blamed my being awake on the Shithead but he wasn't really at fault.

It was guilt that woke me up and guilt that kept me awake the remainder of the night. Even during my freeway drama and now here at work all I can think about is that dog staring at me eye to eye just needing someone to look out for him.

I cannot get this poor dog out of my head.

Why oh why do people have pets and not take care of them.

A dog can only really wander off if he is not properly attended to and no dog that is truly loved is missing a collar and some form of identification.

My inability to deal with this has left me so disturbed today.

When I went dowstairs at 4 this morning I just stared out the back windows looking to see if I could see him in the alley anywhere.

It was so cold out and this poor dog was just out there in the freezing cold without a home.

I feel such severe guilt at my inaction.

I feel such anger that this poor dog was even outside my gate in the freezing cold because somebody else obviously doesn't care about him either.

And none of this is the poor dog's fault.

I have all of this space and I should be fostering animals in need. I should be doing something for dogs that can't take care of themselves because so many humans neglect them.

I spend thousands of dollars a year on a totally useless collection of totally useless and pointless toys and yet I haven't done a single thing or donated a single dollar to help animals in need.

Moments of inaction like this make me realize what a practically useless human I am and have been for the majority of my life.

I do nothing of any value whatsoever with my time and energy.

I sit here and bitch and rant about the horrors of the world and culture around me but I don't do a single fucking thing to try and change any of it.

I am so fucking arrogant and meander through this so-called life I lead with no goals or purpose.

Hell... have I ever had any??? What the hell am I doing here?!?!?

Why does it have to take a starving homeless dog to make me realize this???

Alex B. sent me a fantastically funny link to Somethingawful Twisted Childrens Books which I assume is a collection of from a Photoshop contest on Somethingawful.

Some of these are excellent.

My favorites are definitely Arthur Kills A Hobo For His Clothes, When The Teddy Bears Came, The Littlest Raver, and Teenaged Necrophiliacs.

There's something so beautifully sick in twisted in how easy it is to make something so innocent so evilly funny!

Thanks Alex!

In a desperate anime situation, Popeye is called in to make sense of it all. (campchaos.com)

From The Houston Chronicle and no doubt elsewhere...

Dear Abby:

My 16-year-old daughter went to a party at a frat house where she was given a great deal to drink. Feeling "woozy," she went outside. One of the "boys" suggested she go back to his room to lie down. She had known this fellow before that night and trusted him. She was drunk, and he had sex with her. It was her first time. She claims she tried to make him stop, but he wouldn't.

Shouldn't the young man be punished in some way? I feel something should be done, and I also worry about him doing this to some other girl. Would this constitute date rape?

CONFUSED in Virginia

Trying to rid myself of 500 Internal Server Errors.

Pay this post no mind.