naladahc | tripping along the golden path

So I was thinking...

In Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory the invalid grandparents all share a single bed in Charlie Bucket's house.

Four invalid bed-ridden old people in one bed.

And then there's only Charlie's mother to cook and clean.

How the hell does she get 4 people out of the bed to change the sheets???

I mean she has to do it somehow.

Those sheets would be foul.

Foul. Foul. Foul.

Just a thought.

I just realized I have 32 days of vacation for 2005.

That most definitely does not suck the balls.

Perhaps I can sneak an early San Francisco trip in there somewhere.

Now Chico's a way cute kid.

Especially when he's terrorizing the world with a high quality toy such as Alternator Meister.

But all I have to say is...

So that evil and treacherous beast Punxsutawney Phil has consigned us to hell for another six weeks.

Arghhhhhhh!!!

I am sick of the cold.

I am sick of having to spend 15 minutes warming my car up just to get the ice off the inside of the damn windows.

Damn you!

Damn you and all of of your weather-manipulating rodent kin.

You should just be happy they didn't make a Beast Wars groundhog transformer (though the Japanese probably did for Beast Wars II or Beast Wars Neo!)

If they did I'd go and pee on it.

Study: Cell Phone Use Ages Young Drivers (ABC)

A report from the University of Utah says when motorists between 18 and 25 talk on cell phones, they drive like elderly people moving and reacting more slowly and increasing their risk of accidents.

"If you put a 20-year-old driver behind the wheel with a cell phone, his reaction times are the same as a 70-year-old driver," said David Strayer, a University of Utah psychology professor and principal author of the study. "It's like instant aging."

The only silver lining to the new research is that elderly drivers using a cell phone aren't any more of a hazard to themselves and others than young drivers. Previous research suggested older drivers may face what Strayer described as a "triple whammy."

I'll be able to provide data on STATING THE FUCKING OBVIOUS!!!!!

All I gotta say is the 3D Transformer work over at 10 Figures Design is da bomb!!!

This guy's fantastic.

And his movies rock too!

And with the announcement much rejoicing was heard throughout the land...

So-called U.S. hostage appears to be toy (CNN)

Liam Cusack, the marketing coordinator for Dragon Models USA, said the figure pictured on the Web site is believed to be "Special Ops Cody," a military action figure the company manufactured in late 2003.

"It pretty much looks exactly like the same person," he said.

Cusack said he was contacted Tuesday morning by one of his retailers, who informed him that the alleged hostage appeared to be one of the company's action figures.

This is the strangest thing I believe I've seen from this war of freedom and liberty.

The eclectic Ben J. notified me today that local rag Columbus Alive has an article on an old acquaintance of our's Mike Conte and his band Early Man.

Nice to see that he's having some success in NYC. But in the article it says...

“Columbus taught me to lead, not to follow,” Conte states. And Columbus is a habitat for visionaries and the constructively insane. But with few outlets for them to realize their potential, departure is the inevitable conclusion for many seeking more possibilities.

And the award for longest comment ever posted on naladahc.com goes to...

*drum roll*

*Nala, shaking in his moist panties, opens the envelope*

It appears that yet again another one bites the dust.

Or does she?

Only about half of America's high school students think newspapers should be allowed to publish freely, without government approval of their stories. And a third say the free speech guarantees of the First Amendment go "too far." (NY Times)

In the name of his "ownership society" concept, Bush applies ultraconservative dogmas to the letter: always less government, always more privatization, always less taxes (for the wealthiest), so as to make the individual more independent, more free to determine his destiny. In fact, using the deficit as blackmail, he is proceeding to a redistribution of national wealth for the benefit of the brokers, banks, and insurance companies who will profit even from the borrowing aspect of the proposals launched by the White House. (Truthout)

Mr. Gonzales testified that he agreed with the substance of the original torture memo, and he still takes the view that the president can declare himself to be above the law. In written responses to senators' questions, Mr. Gonzales argued that intelligence agents could "abuse" prisoners as long as they did it to foreigners outside the United States. (NY Times)

Always remember... Arbeit Macht Frei... Work Makes You Free.

Ask those 6 million+ dead.

The sun is now setting on the United States of America and the wealthy in power fear how this transition will affect them.

Can't you smell the hint of the burning embers of chaos in the air?

This is going to be a grand century.

Oh... yeah!

Well my copy of Master Collector arrived today. This is the montly paper I get for joining the revamped Transformers Collectors' Club.

I as I expected. Totally lame.

And what's worse... it looks like it was typeset by two 14 year olds on a Mac Quadra using Aldus Pagemaker 3 with 2 fonts. (Which is the quivalent of using Microsoft Publisher for any form of professional layout.)

Oh well.

At least I'll get my exclusive toy in late Spring.

That's all I really wanted.

While driving home this morning from lunch I had an epiphany you might say.

I found my destiny.

I believe I am fated to design a God Loves The Magnetic Ribbon Industry ribbon that is eating a Jesus Fish that is consuming a Darwin fish that is peeing on a God Loves The Magnetic Ribbon Industry ribbon.

It is a challenging task.

Therein I will find salvation.

I really wanted to work on cleaning up the Attic of Love today but I didn't do shit.

I cannot convey the horror that is a paczki pal bobblehead.

Why do members of the family Hominidae that have created machines that could send members of Homo sapiens sapiens to the moon and back have to ruin a perfectly good Polish pastry by making a disgusting anthropomorphic bobbling cranium representation of said Polish pastry?

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Oh for the love of Polonia!!!

There's something definitely wrong with me.

And... I'm afraid it is similar to what I had to have surgery for back in early 2003.

So it says...

Former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean has officially become the last man standing in the race to chair the Democratic National Committee -- a development heralded by many Democrats as the start of an aggressive drive to rebuild the party, and win elections, from the grass roots up.

What the fuck???

From omaha.com...

A trip that started in President Bush's limousine ended Friday with a stranded U.S. Sen. Ben Nelson hitching a ride in a 1989 Buick with a stranger.
Earlier, President Bush agreed to a new nickname for Nelson: "Benator."

Nelson was happy, however, because the president had granted him a new nickname - "Benator."

Nelson and U.S. Rep. Jeff Fortenberry, R-Neb., accompanied Bush and his political adviser, Karl Rove, back to the airport after the president's speech.

At the start of the trip, Nelson pushed Bush to call him "Benator" rather than previous presidential nicknames that Nelson disliked, "Nellie" or "Benny."

The president agreed with a chuckle, Nelson said.

And calling them retards is unfortunately an insult to the poor humans that are born retarded!!!

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Benetor?

Bene-fucking-tor?

That would even be a shitty name for a Transformer.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

And then I read this...

On trekweb, a poster broke down some numbers assuming 1.6 million per episode: $1,600,000 an episode times 22 episodes comes out to $35,200,000 for a season. $35,200,000 divided by 3,000,000 viewers is $11.74 each. He suggested we contribute to pay for Season 5, a great idea! 3 million has been the average for Season 4. $11.74? Let's round it to $12.00 even x 3 mil equals $36,000,000.00 for Season 5. I spend 12 bucks on Domino's Pizza!

Let's put our money where our hearts, minds and mouths are and start a fund to pay for the cost of Season 5. We need a central website and Saveenterprise is just the place. I support letter writing and buying ads as much as the next guy but desparate times calls for desparate measures so along with the writing campaign, phone calls to CBS and Paramount, protest at the offices, let's do something that's never been done before: THE FANS PAY FOR SEASON 5! The cancellation of Enterprise hasn't gotten any attention except for a blurb in the entertainment sections of the papers so let's shake things up and get some publicity!

We'll get criticism from the press that we are willing to pony up cash for a TV show but not for Tsunami victims...hey, I've donated to the tsunami victims and others, my conscience is clear. I think its worth contributing 12 bucks to a series that's just hitting its stride and then getting prematurely de-railed!

Let's cut the crying Enterprise fans and put the grief and anger aside. Be proactive, we need to UNITE- best place is saveenterprise- and lay it on the line. According to another thread we have until the end of March, that's when the sets are chopped down, the cast are released from their contracts, etc. Again my friends, THE PUBLICITY ALONE WOULD CREATE BUZZ FOR ENTERPRISE! Headlines would read "FANS DONATE MONEY TO SAVE SERIES!"

This franchise has to die to save it.

ARTHUR: Where?

TIM: There.

ARTHUR: Behind the rabbit?

TIM: It is the rabbit.

So I know I've been going off on mildly political tangents.

Yesterday saw several posts involving the politics I loathe and after I rant in the blog,which is typically pretty incoherent anyway, I stay angry for hours.

I'll try not to let the judeo-christian-demonic-powers-that-be upset me.

Because the Cowlands have warmed up and most of the snow has melted, you'd be amazed at the amount of Hoont-related bomb piles that litter the yard.

Perhaps I'll blog about my dog's bowel movements later today.

It is a magic thing ya know!

But it says...

Aviation officials were "lulled into a false sense of security" and "intelligence that indicated a real and growing threat leading up to 9/11 did not stimulate significant increases in security procedures."

Of the FAA's 105 daily intelligence summaries between April 1 and Sept. 10, 2001, 52 mentioned bin Laden, al Qaeda or both, "mostly in regard to overseas threats."

Oh wait. God changed reality so the US could go to war with Iraq over this.

Wait. No. That never happened either.

We wanted to spread liberty, freedom, and democracy.

That's it!

I remember now.

So I've currently been experiencing what I like to think of as the "trifecta horror" of my life.

After several days of only eating essentially hot bowls of whole grain gruel (wheat, corn, and of the oat variety) I somehow developed this immense craving for Korean food last night.

Happy Wedding Day shout outs to Nicole and Brandon.

Why Did Jesus Have Long Hair Like a Homo?

Ah... Krypto the Super Dog is still one of the best comic derivative creations of the 1950s ever.

I wish they'd use him, Streaky and Beppo in the Justice League Cartoon. At least for even an imaginary appearance.

Comet and Proty can be absent. They suck.

I don't really know anything about the book (I just couldn't get into it) but this character from the upcoming The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy looks so cool.

But then again... I like robot-like things.

Bwahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaah!

Oh. What a horrible father he must be for his daughter to turn out gay.

Oh. By the way.

Happy Lupercalia Eve!

Yet another ancient Roman festival "usurped" by the always original Christian Church.

Perhaps if humanity reinstituted more of the ancient February festivals of purification for the coming season we'd be a little more real and a lot less fake.

Oh wait. Nevermind. Modern humans would try to find some way to make a buck off of it.

Disney Building a Unit to Make Pixar Sequel Movies (Yahoo!)

The Walt Disney Co. is building a new animation unit to create feature film sequels to the hits it made with Pixar Animation Studios, starting with a "Toy Story 3" feature film due by 2008...

Is it just me, the animator-that-wasn't, or does it seem that Disney just doesn't know what to do with itself now that Pixar has not renegotiated their contract.

Disney shut down their feature animation department for 2-D work because they are totally blind to the real reasons of Pixar's success.

It just isn't the CGI folks.

It is the story dammit!

It doesn't matter how much money is thrown at any film project. It doesn't matter the genre. It doesn't matter the delivery.

What matters is a solid story from start to finish.

That's what keeps the audience. That's what brings them back into the theatre for more. That's also what makes them buy the DVD!

So Disney is starting a new CGI studio to create sequels to the films Pixar created.

Why does this sound like an act of deperation to me.

Sequels to content originally created by another studio in your hands only because of contractual legalese. That pretty much sucks.

Since the big talk of this new studio surrounds sequels to Toy Story I would so love Tom Hanks and Tim Allen to not sign up to do voice acting on these purely based on creative reasons.

Yes. The voice actors are important. But the likes of John Lasseter, Peter Docter, and Andrew Stanton are why these films succeeded.

These guys are Pixar! These guys, and the hundreds of other talented people at Pixar, are the films that you are going to now whore to the general consumer.

You can't always separate the content from the creators and expect anything magic to happen. In fact, this is a rare thing indeed.
*cough* Brian Herbert and Kenneth Anderson suck *cough*.

Walt and his 9 old men that basically created the entire American animation industry would probably bow their heads in shame at this.

From 1928 to the 1980s, while these men were alive, Disney did not truly make a retread sequel of any original animation project.

And now a whole studio is being created to churn out sequels to another group's creations.

Ugh. You stink like poo Disney of 2005.

It is a sad day indeed.

Direct from Japan. In his first ever appearance in the Attic of Love.

So as you may have read I haven't been feeling all that well over the past few weeks.

Some days are managable. Some days are tolerable. Others not so.

Today started out good and over the last few hours has kind of gone downhill for me. I just can't get comfortable at all.

I just don't know what thing sets the other off. It is just driving me crazy not being able to manage it.

So I'm going to soak in a tub of super hot water and try to into a doctor to discuss the "trifecta of horrors" and what yours truly can do to alleviate them. I mean, I've been taking the antibiotics and anti-inflamatories as prescribed. I've been trying very hard to avoid anything deep friend or overtly greasy. I've even been moderating my fiber differently to deal with the gall sludge.

But I still feel like shit.

Of course, the doctor's office is forwarding to an answering service since they are in a meeting this morning so I have no idea when I'll be able to get in.

Grrrr.

Such is what I've become and it is entirely my own fault.

Ok. No more pansy ass whiney bitching.

Well I just got a call from National City Bank.

This drama has been cleared up.

Not only will the late fees be waived but they are sending a letter to the credit bureaus regarding this mishap and the problem on my credit report will be expunged from the record.

Good.

At least that's done.

Now who do I call to stop my prostate from declaring war on Iran?

If you didn't know it already Matt has his first ever toy "review" as a contributing writer up at Trusty Sidekicks.

Yes. The Spectacular Spider-Ass is a most disturbing toy when you walk by it at your local WeBeToys.

Matt surprised me today when he got home from work and had a brand new Alternator Battle Ravage that he found at Target while doing a geek run at lunch.

Surprised was I.

While I do like having a new Alternator, even though it is just a retool of Tracks, I still don't know if I can get over the fact they used Ravage for this.

It is kinda weak if ya ask me.

I mean... I have no problems with using the Stunticons as Decepticon Alternators since they all had vehicle Alt modes to begin with. But Ravage? He's a robotic panther that turns into an audio cassette. That's kinda pushing it.

And I don't care that Hasbro lost the name "Ravage". I refuse to call him "Battle Ravage" in the same way I refuse to call Shockwave by the stupid moniker "Shockblast".

I think I need to lay off the plastic crack for awhile. Far too many crack-related conversations take up the day and night for me either face to face or on message boards.

Must... get... a... life...

Ok. It appears it is now official.

Looks like I'll have to gather the MONs (Minions of Nala) to start gathering money to thwart the return of Star Trek.

Let it die.

Let it die.

Let it die.

While I have always wanted to permanently remove myself from the Cowlands and head west to Northern California there has always been that one thing that constantly put a wall in my thoughts and prevented me from doing it.

And according to SFGate.com today that one thing just keeps getting worse.

In San Francisco, a typical single-family home now runs about $713,000, up a stunning 23 percent over last January's $580,000. Marin County had the highest median at $850,000; Solano County had the lowest at $389,000. The median price for a Bay Area condo was $410,000, up 21.3 percent year over year. By contrast, the nationwide median price for an existing detached home is just under $190,000....

That sucks the balls of incredible temperate-climate nastiness.

Lee Julien, an agent at Herth Real Estate who Tuesday was showing a Hayes Valley Victorian listed for $1.2 million, said easily 10 percent of his buyers are from outside the United States.

"I can't tell you how many buyers I have from Singapore or London," Julien said. "They come here and they look at a house like this and they say, 'This in London would cost $4.2 million.' "

I do love the City. I love it more than any other place in the world. But I also don't want to waste money on rent.

And even though I totally agree with some rants about living in SF there's a part of me that longs to not be a Midwesterner.

I suppose it isn't really San Francisco so much as it is to live in a place only a few minutes/hours away from the ocean, mountains, forests, desert, etc.

But San Francisco was the first place I ever visited that I felt comfortable in and actually felt like exploring.

A few minutes/hours out from the Cowlands and you are still in the Cowlands. North will put you on Lake Erie which is ok but not the Pacific. East will put you in Pennsylvania or West Virginia so why bother. South will put you in Kentucky or Tennessee and once again, why bother. West will put you in Indiana or Illinois which is probably no better than going south or east when you think of it.

Oh well.

Perhaps it is best that I just visit and occasionally annoy my friends out there.

And I suppose I should try to scrape up some real money and make a trip out there.

A New Model Army Soldier Rolls Closer to the Battlefield (New York Times)

The robot soldier is coming.

The Pentagon predicts that robots will be a major fighting force in the American military in less than a decade, hunting and killing enemies in combat. Robots are a crucial part of the Army's effort to rebuild itself as a 21st-century fighting force, and a $127 billion project called Future Combat Systems is the biggest military contract in American history.

So basically since these are robots they will still be controlled by someone with a computer from a remote location.

And that just means that anybody who reads the same article as I just did can figure out that all someone will need to do is create signal-jamming technology that renders these robots useless.

We are talking basic robots here too... not anything remotely artifically intelligent.

Hell... we even saw somewhat artifically intelligent battle droids all go to hell in the horrid Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace just by knocking out the source of their signal.

I think time and money would be better spend involved in developing protoculture and robotechnology. Geez.

And I don't eventually want to have to get all Butlerian Jihad on someone's ass either.

Just links to shit I've been reading today at lunch...

"The cities are fucked. The suburbs are fucked. The whole country is fucked," Cuellen said. "And there's not a goddamned thing you or anyone can do about it. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. Or trying to get you to teach kids math."

Just because you all care so much...

I'm 5 Transformers away from the big 1100.

Wanna donate to The Attic of Love™?

You know you want to see me get to 1100.

I know you do.

The Embarcadero station computer detected a "ghost train" at 7:30 a.m., requiring operators to drive their trains manually at no more than 25 mph, rather than the normal 70 mph...

One of my all-time favorite words... Embarcadero.

Yay for Cowtown!

A six-year-old boy takes a gun to school.

Columbus Police believe the kindergartener spent the entire day Wednesday at Harmon Elementary with the gun in his possession....

Police say the boy took the gun from beneath his mother's pillow and brought it to school because he wanted to show it off.

When I was a kid I lived in a house with guns (my father being a police officer and all) and I never once thought about picking up his weapons.

Never.

But that was back in the 1970s when innocence still ruled.

There's a surprisgly good interview/read at Newsarama between Marvel's Joe Quesada and Kevin Smith about comics and the industry in general.

I have to admit that Smith is my peer in many ways and when he starts talking about the books of the past that got him excited they are pretty much the same stuff that I was reading back then.

One of the funniest parts is when they are talking about having to "out" yourself to your girlfriend about being a collector/reader of comic books.

I know the feeling.

I think the whole new relationship thing and how the other person views one's geekness is often a strange hurdle to get over.

I mean really, if I started dating someone new who wasn't even geek-inclined, how could I possibly rationalize and explain The Attic of Love™.

It is a sick and twisted perversion and I'll freely admit it.

But it would probably be a few weeks before I approached the subject and let somebody climb the steps to the Happiest Place on Earth™.

Hell... you can't even make it up the first few steps without being innundated with PCVs, Alternators, and Binaltechs.

But I probably wouldn't date anybody that didn't have some geek-inclination anyway.

Trixter wrote about old Usenet posts and I was shocked that Google has a record going back for close to a decade on this stuff.

I looked up my own name and was shocked that there's a ton of comments I posted about comics and such still in existence.

In a way Google is kind of scary. I mean this crap is practically a decade old and it still is out there archived in a database.

While I inherently like the design aesthetic here, I don't think this is all that great an idea.

The WB network will take the famed Looney Tunes characters as models for a new children’s series, “Loonatics,” that will air on Saturday mornings starting this fall. The characters’ descendants — Buzz Bunny and the like — will be superhero action figures for the cartoon set in the year 2772.

But how about developing something new and original for a new generation instead of just regurgitating something based on a distinct visual identity that everyone living today on this planet is familiar with.

Nothing will ever compare to the creativity of Chuck Jones, Friz Freling, Bob Clampett and Robert McKimson when it comes to these characters.

I'm not putting them on a pedestal or anything but what I'm shocked is the real lack of creativity here in terms of reusing existing material as a model for something else.

Yes. This has been done before with Tiny Toon Adventures in the 90s but in that series they tried to capture the spirit of the original 40s and 50s material, albeit missing more than nailing it.

This new series. Meh.

Where are the new original characters in animation? Certainly they aren't coming from corporations such as Warner Brothers.

Sometimes, absurd Fark Photoshops are the best.

I gotta say that Jesus Kills for LordLinks Sausages easily made me spurt out coffee and also beats Jack Klugman Loves Soccer.

Japanese Knead Lumpy Sourdough is surprisingly funny too.

Then again I'm easily amused with such things.

Oh my god!!!

Many thanks to Davidk for posting a link to Tenderloin.net in a comment over at one of my favorite blogs Toshikomi.com.

The Tenderloin is one of my most cherished places to visit when I'm in San Francisco and I never even know there's site devoted to the local fauna of the area.

There's just no Cowland equivalent that I have ever seen that rivals the Tenderloin.

*sigh*

I do miss when all my friends lived on Jones at Ellis.

Good times. Good times indeed.

And if you really want to know why I love the Tenderloin so much download this mpg.

Well Hasbro sent out a press release about the upcoming "Cybertron" line today since the big American International Toy Fair trade show is this weekend.

And Toy Fair is the place where plastic crack™ makers show their wares to prospective plastic crack™ dealers and make plastic crack™ addicts all moist in the panties with anticipation for the new year.

So Hasbro as usual has "co-developed" the new Transformers line with Takara in Japan and will be bringing over the Galaxy Force series rebranded as Transformers: Cybertron in both toy and animated show form.

Now they say they co-develop the brand but I really think that Takara does far more design than Hasbro does and also obviously contributed most if not all of the backstory that develops into the animated show. (I think this is also the case with the soon to be wrapped up Energon line and animation. The super shitty Armada though from 2002 is probably fully Hasbro's baby.)

Of course I could be wrong here but this line, especially certain characters like Master Megatron and Nitro Convoy just have too much "Japanese-anime-influence" to have been designed in the US.

And the television show completely smells of standard Japanese kid-anime fare in terms of writing and overall plot and story.

Now based off today's press release,Hasbro for some reason known only to gods and demons perhaps, is upscaling the phenomenally awesome Don Figueroa-design inspired Takara Galaxy Force Starscream, adding a crown, changing the colors, and adding more gimmicks that the kids'll just eat up (*snigger*).

The toy will retail for a shelf-warming $50 and from what I've been reading on the the bitch boards collectors just don't seem to really want this. And unfortunately, collectors are the ones that buy these really expensive pieces of shit anyway.

All I can say is that I'm extremly happy that I've got my Takara version somewhere on a UPS truck/plane as I type making its way from a store in Hawaii that I'll never buy from again. But that purchase is another story for another entry.

Now Galaxy Force Dreadrock looks to be one of the finest Transformers ever made. I think he's beautiful in all his modes and quite frankly I should break down and get an actual Takara one instead of waiting for the Hasbro one.

Hasbro of course is renaming this figure with the totally overused Jetfire moniker. Hopefully they won't make any significant changes to the mold or color palette. No idea why they fuck up Takara's perfectly good color schemes but Hasbro so often does it.

Another figure I just had to order from Japan, and coincidentally on the same UPS plane/jet that my Starscream on is Vector Prime.

Vector Prime's alt mode is an homage based more or less on the Axalon, the ship commanded by Optimus Primal in the opening moments of Beast Wars.

And Vector Prime is one kick ass figure from the looks of it. Hell, I don't even have one yet and I've been salivating for him. There's just something about the sword and worn ancient look that I'm just loving to the balls max with this one. Here's hoping Hasbro doesn't deviate too much either.

In a twist that makes no sense to fans, the press release spoiled the entire plot of the reworked cartoon as well. So "...as they have the power to unlock Cybertron itself, and make their home planet into the one Transformer robot powerful enough to shut down the black hole that threatens the entire universe!" basically means we'll be getting a supreme sized Primus figure finally and hopefully they'll do something other than retool the ok, but mediocre, Unicron figure from Armada.

The American dubs of the Transformer cartoons are guaranteed to suck such incredible balls that they really aren't worth mentioning.

It is bad enough that Hasbro continually reuses names over and over and over in the toy lines but it hurts even more to have these "characters" constantly reused in the animation and hearkening back to previous series when in fact they are often not the same character in the Japanese version.

The Japanese Chô robot seimeitai Transformer: Micron densetsu was dubbed into the awful pile of shit known as Transformers: Armada and Transformer: Super Link was dubbed into the completely incoherent mess known as Transformers: Enegon.

Now I would like to think Hasbro has learned something from these really poorly dubbed cartoons but somehow I just don't think so.

They don't seem to realize at all that story and coherency of plot are the key factors for everything regardless of the age of the watcher.

They don't realize... or they just don't care.

I'd imagine more of the latter than the former.

Oh well... at least there's new crack to be had soon and some of it may just be worth buying!

Holy Shit!!!

So I'm pretty sure that my grandmother saw penis probably twice in her life since I have a mother and a ciotka.

But little did anyone suspect that one of her greatest creations in life hid the fact that she probably saw penis daily.

I don't get off on ceramic crack at all. I just don't see the point in these extremely overpriced statues.

But I just know I'll end up with this one one day.

No doubt you all know why by now.

When asked "Why does the doctor smoke?" on the Battlestar Galactica show, Ron Moore answers...

Because smoking is cool. Don't let anyone tell you different, kid.

Seriously, we're showing people doing what people really do and not all of their choices are smart ones. We smoke, we drink, we have sex with the wrong partners -- we make lots of bad choices and some of them we do knowingly and in full cognizance of the risks and consequences. Dr. Cottle obviously knows the risks associated with smoking and he elects to do it anyway -- that's his choice.

I'm also frankly tired of all the anti-smoking p.c. crap that we're bombarded with these days and I decided that this was a world without all that. Call it my one sop to the idea of an idealized society, the notion that adults can make informed choices and not be nagged to death or run out of public spaces for making choices that others may not like or agree with.

Adults making informed choices that others may not like or agree with.

Wow. That is so Un-American these days.

I managed to actually get stuff done.

Got the bedroom cleaned and the bathtub scrubbed down, came up with 2 new possible designs for nassau.com that hopefully are in the right direction, and actually got a tiny bit of work done in the attic.

Holy Shit!

Hunter S. Thompson, the acerbic counterculture writer who popularised a new form of fictional journalism in books like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, fatally shot himself last night at his Aspen-area home

He was one of my favorite writers.

Well one month from today I will turn 35.

I never figured I'd make it past 25 let alone 30 and now I'm the doorstep of 35 and it is coming up fast.

So since this isn't a lame birthday but one that ends with a 5 (0 and 5 enders only count after 21) I'm going to be a dick and post a present list so you can all shower me with things in my official entry into my mid-30s.

I mean, so many people put their wedding and other event registries online and some even beg for funding and such. Why not Nala?

Nala needs love (and plastic/video/paper crack-related things) too.

So... I'm gonna do it too! All my needs, wishes, and dreams as of today in clickable list form.

I wish I was Christian or something because then I could easily blame Satan for my stupid online purchases instead of only having my own lack of self-control to be ashamed of.

I made a real stupid purchase tonight and I'm totally consumed by horrible guilt now.

God I am so retarded sometimes.

Having someone to blame like Satan, queers, or Baath Party Members is so much easier than just being a total retard.

Which I am.

Came across The Top 100 Gadgets of All Time today.

Some cool items here.

The new live-action Tetsujin 28 trailer is up. Or Gigantor to the 'Merican-speaking world.

And all I gotta say is I love the silliness of it. The fact that they kept the robots looking very 60s/70s anime-style is just fantastic.

I have never been all that much of Gigantor fan but my panties are all moist to see this.

Now... if the Japanese powers that be can just get me a live-action Getter Robo film made I'll be super-mega-balls-happy!!!

Oh. And the live-action/CGI Transformers film from Dreamworks is coming out in Autumn 2006 now. (And I'm hoping it doesn't suck balls either!) More on that!

What's 7 letters long and has just been added to my vocabulary as a top-tier definition of sucking balls?

Fark's "Re-imagine" cartoon characters from your youth for a "fresh, cool and hip" new look photoshop contest is pretty decent.

Powermaster Optimus Prime with bling could be a bit better.

However, Way Back To The Future, Schroeder, and iPod Voltron are pretty good.

Arriving a day early, Galaxy Force Vector Prime and Starscream have made their debut in the Attic of Love this evening.

Were they worth the wait and the zlotys?

Holy Shit!

I totally forgot to Tivo the new Robot Chicken show on Cartoon Network this past weekend.

This week Optimus Prime, Jazz, Ironhide, and Prowl kick the shit out of the Decepticons only to find out later that Optimus has prostate cancer.

It frick'n rocks!!!

A low res download in WMV format is available here.

Even Optimus has prostate troubles!

Only people with a true love of 80s Transformers could have done such a great skit!

Woohoo!!!

Galactica Returns This Summer

SCI FI Channel announced that the second season of its hit original series Battlestar Galactica will premiere this summer, with 20 new episodes. The channel added that the entire ensemble cast will return for season two, including Edward James Olmos, Mary McDonnell, Katee Sackhoff, Jamie Bamber, James Callis, Tricia Helfer and Grace Park. Also resuming their roles are executive producer and writer Ronald D. Moore and executive producer David Eick.

UN Predicts 9.1 Billion People on Earth by 2050

The human race is expected to swell from the current 6.5 billion to 9.1 billion people by 2050, with populations exploding in hungry developing countries and stagnating in rich nations, the United Nations predicted Thursday.

Do you see the chaos just over the horizon?

Do I need to be your prophet?

Look to the streets. That is where it will begin.

"Liberty and Freedom are complex concepts. They go back to religious ideas of Free Will and are related to the Ruler Mystique implicit in absolute monarchs. Without absolute monarchs patterned after the Old Gods and ruling by the grace of a belief in religious indulgence. Liberty and Freedom would never have gained their present meaning. These ideals owe their very existence to past examples of oppression. And the forces that maintain such ideas will erode unless renewed by dramatic teaching or new oppressions. This is the most basic key to my life."
                       -         Leto Atreides II

From the retail-sucks.com forums...

Just before the election, a book came out called "Unfit for Command" that knocked John Kerry. The publisher had a hard time keeping up with demand and found the easiest way to get some free publicity was to tell the press that the reason the book wasn't in our store was because we were Anti-Bush, which was untrue to the point of being stupid.

We had two or three customers a day come up to us and yell in our faces about our Liberal conspericy, so when we finally did get it in, I decided to have some fun.

I was at the customer service desk with a box full of the book, calling people who wanted to know when it came in. A guy comes in and is ready to pick a fight about why we don have it on the shelves. It went a little something like this:

DUMB ASS CUSTOMER: "I think it's very suspicious that you don't have Unfit for Comand... very suspicious.
ME: (I look around and lean in close and start whispering for effect) "We do have it... but you're not supposed to know we have it."
DAC: "I kne-"
ME: "Shhhh... I can get in big trouble for this, but here." (I hand him one of the hundreds of copies I had behind me) "Don't let anyone see this on the way up to the register."
DAC: "Why not?"
ME: "Just trust me. Make sure you only get rung up by Henry, he's the tall guy in the black shirt, and also make sure you only pay cash."
DAC: "But I don't have that much cash."
ME: "Only pay cash"

The guy nodded and hid the book under his shirt and went up to the register. I called Henry real quick and told him to act wierd when the guy came up, like he wasn't supposed to do it or something.

After the guy left, Henry came up and told me that when the guy left, he was running out the door to his car, looking over his shoulder the whole time.

Horrible horrible horrible retail.

In a mall even. And not what some would even consider a good mall. A shitty mall.

And it was this place called Artworks Gallery or something and I don't even think the shitty retail chain is even around any more.

But I don't seem to recall ever taking out my loathing of my retail life on a customer.

It just wasn't something I did.

Maybe even then, though I wasn't consciously aware of it, I knew that it wasn't permanent and there was no reason to be a dick.

Yeah. It was the start of the Dark Ages and all, hence why I even found myself working in a mall, but it was my fault I was scraping the bottom of the barrel so why inflict it on the mindless consumers looking for those stupid 3-D digital art pictures that were all the rage in the early 90s.

Where was I going with this?

I don't really remember.

And come to think of it. How many of those stupid 3-D digital art pictures are in landfills rotting in the pop culture waste from the 90s along side the Tomagotchis and other oddities?

Wow. Today has literally been a Herbertesque day on so much news I've been reading.

Daniel Tammet is an autistic savant. He can perform mind-boggling mathematical calculations at breakneck speeds. But unlike other savants, who can perform similar feats, Tammet can describe how he does it. He speaks seven languages and is even devising his own language. Now scientists are asking whether his exceptional abilities are the key to unlock the secrets of autism.

I give you the beginnings of research that can lead to the development of Mentats.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

This Place Sucks.

Fuck!

I think I'm getting sick.

Something like 40% of the department has been ill and I have a sneaking suspicion that I've now got it.

Sore. Achy.

The whole thing.

Grrrr...

So this weekend is the OHSAA Boys Wrestling tournament over at The Schott.

That means that somewhere less than 2 miles from the House of Love™ sits The Cousin doing his high school wrestling coaching duties and stuff.

Not that I know if he had anyone on his team even make it to States or not.

This tournament is the only time he's ever in the Central Cowlands and perhaps he'll call.

But maybe... just maybe... he'll have time to stop by and see the House of Love™ and stuff.

So several months ago back in late Summer or early Autumn Mr. T. found a fairly decent G1 Omega Supreme in the garage of a house he bought.

Omega eventually made it to the Attic of Love™ and as I started to take him apart to assess his condition.

This then is the story of the my first journey into the beginnings of repair to make this figure display-ready.

I've got some virus.

That much is certain.

Influenza? SARS? Your guess is as good as mine.

Trying to get in to see a doctor has been fun too.

Seems like lots of other people have come down with something with all the same basic fun and exciting flu-like symptoms.

I'm not really incapacitateed but more annoyed than anything.

My neck, upper back, and calf muscles are sore as hell and the headache won't really go away but tt could be worse though.

I could be projectile vomitting or somesuch.

And to top it all off the Cowlands are supposed to get 3-6" of snow over the next two days and nights.

Yay! Sucks balls of course.

Now this shocked the shit out of me.

Apparently Halle Berry actually showed up to accept her Razzie for Worst Actress of the Year!

The Hollywood star was named worst actress of 2004 by the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation for her performance in Catwoman.

Unusually, the plucky actress turned up at the award show in Los Angeles to accept her "Razzie". To prove the point that she can act, she appeared on stage carrying the best actress Academy Award she won in 2002 for Monster's Ball.

"They can't take this away from me, it's got my name on it," she quipped before delivering a stirring repeat of her Oscar acceptance speech, including mock tears.

She thanked everyone involved in Catwoman, a film she said took her from the top of her profession to the bottom. "I want to thank Warner Brothers for casting me in this piece of s**t," she said as she dragged her agent on stage and warned him "next time read the script first".

Her Oscar speech from a few years ago was a riot so her making a parody of it herself has got to be gold!

It is rare for a Razzie winner to show up at the spoof awards held on the night before Oscars, but Berry said her mother taught her that to be "a good winner you had to be a good loser first". She received a standing ovation for her efforts.

And if I have time perhaps I'll write about her early days when she had a brief and minor role on my beloved Snots Landing.

So I got into the doctor's at 4:20 today and donated 6 large vials of blood to the "What the hell's wrong with Nala?" quest.

They ruled out influenza with this nasal swabbing test.

I've ruled out SARS and am leaning more towards tuberculosis, the Black Plague, or quite possibly a case of "the vapors".

And in other news, the Bird of Eve sent me a link that I somehow missed during today's net geeking that brought a small rush, of what might just well be joy, to my day.

(Hasbro) also mentioned that at the insistance of pretty much everyone involved, Voicebox will NOT be back for the regionization of Galaxy Force. It will be done in a studio in L.A. who already has begun casting. Susan Blu is already involved, but that was the only name the specified.

Some Armada/Energon actors will be back, though a couple have chosen not to sign back on. And we will hear a few familiar voices from previous TF shows as well. Mostly from RiD, with a couple of G1 vets. They're REALLY excited about who they got to play Scourge, but it's a surprise they don't want to get out till the episode actually airs.

After the past several years of Voicebox's shitastic work on the various Transformer shows this is oh so good news.

If the rumor about having Susan Blu involved is true this really sucks the balls of yumminess!!! (Hell, I'd become her personal love whore if she came to voice direct or act in a TF series again. Susan... email me if interested!)

She voice directed the entire run of Beast Wars and if she can bring just a bit of that quality to the dub of Galaxy Force then things are looking good. Mind you, voice dubbing is very different from original voice recording so there's always room for suckitude. But my oh my... did the past 2 shows wallow in voice acting nasty ballsness!

And some G1 and Robots In Disguise voice actors may be returning?

Did I just get a hard on?

I do think that is most definitely a honest to goodness woodie in my Jeans of Love!!!

I would so love to hear Neil Ross, Neil Kaplan, Michael Bell, Rob Paulsen (perhaps a Yakko Warner variation for the mini-con Hop?), Michael McConnohie, the great Corey Burton (how I love your G1 Shockwave), and Peter Spellos doing voices for TFs again.

These guys could turn shit to pure gold.

*sigh*

Now I'm all wet and moist. Sick and sore and in pain yes. But oh so moist!!!

I'm tempted to buy this purely to have to explain to people why I added it to my collection.

I mean c'mon!!! I can put TFs on papers at work!!!