On this day, 10 years ago, The Internet's Most Beloved Dachshund™ was born.
Or so the paperwork says.
I still remember when I first met the small Hoontling. There was a bond between us the moment I picked him up.
He's not so much black and tan now as black and grey.
But he hasn't slowed down one bit.
I'm sure you're thrilled to read that the digestive tract and rectum of the Worlds' Most Beloved Dachshund is worm free.
S'all about the damn anal glands!
So I managed to get The Hoont into the vet this Saturday morning since he's been once again scootching his ass on the floor.
As expected, his oh so famous anal glands were full and had to be manually cleaned out all to the tune of $70.
Now I've still been worried about his getting those worms again he had in September after we moved into the Domicile of Love so a Hoont Poop Sample was also taken to by analyzed.
As a precaution, I've also been given him some prescription dewormer.
Now I've been trying to learn the nasty task of dachshund anal gland expulsion and cleaning for some time but doing it externally doesn't seem to work for Hens.
After talking to the vet I've basically decided I need to make sure I have latex gloves and some K-Y around when it starts to bother him and learn how to do it.
The thought of shoving a lubed finger into my dog's ass is... well... something I hope I don't have to do too often.
But to save $70 each time for a 3 minute procedure is worth it.
The Hoont seems to be better since Saturday too.
So the other day Hensley clocked in at slightly under $400 at the vet.
Well, I got the call back from the vet on the stool results and the Hoont once again has whipworms.
He must have picked them up from the new yard or after eating some shit on one of our afternoon constitutionals. Readers may recall he got them before in July 2006.
Alas, we ran and picked up more meds and that officially took the visit to over $400.
Joy!
On the good side of that, within 24 hours of his first doses of the steroids and anti-biotics he has stopped scratching and is pretty much a totally different dog.
So not much done on the dining room yesterday other than putting up some plastic drop clothes to keep dust and debris out of the other rooms.
Why nothing done you ask?
Well. Let me tell you.
A certain short-haired black and tan standard dachshunds had to go to the vet yesterday to the tune of almost $400.
On top of his usual check-up and vaccinations, his allergies have returned worse than ever this past few weeks.
He has scratched himself raw in so many places and basically will go into scratching at any moment. It drives one crazy!
In addition to that, he has spent the past few days sick, often with explosive results all over the kitchen. I was surprised I even got a semi-solid stool sample yesterday.
Anyway, he's on antibiotics for the sores, steroids for the scratching, and a temporary diet change to try and affect his digestion.
Apparently he has a high bacteria count in his stool and entirely too much fibrous leaf matter. The best we can think is that he's been ingesting so much crap over the past 2 weeks as he's found all those nasty ass old tennis balls in the yard. It didn't help that he was attempting to eat rotten vegetation either!
So. That was quite an expensive visit to the vet.
I won't even go into the hilarious anal glad cleaning and the awful smell that produced!
I just hope the insane scratching comes to a hault.
Holy shit!
The mascot of the 1972 Munich Olympics was a rainbow-colored dachshund named Waldi.
He's a little too " gay" colored for my tastes but I think I need to find a few pieces of Olympics memorabilia from 1972.
Hmmm... I do know some people currently residing in Germany and Austria too.
In honor of The Hoont's recent and deadly gas attacks, I've retooled a WWII British gas mask poster.
Enjoy!
Of course, this also would constitute your "Hitler Moment Of The Day".
Señor Pan Vomits-a-lot is a thousand times better than he was the other day.
He was subdued at the cookout yesterday but that is to be expected.
Of course, at 6am this morning that all changed as I heard the *murf* sound coming from stairwell.
Sure enough, as I walked down the dachshund went round in circles and was totally his old self. He even ate a full bowl of food.
Not sure what's bothering Señor Pan Mootzar but when G. and I came home from an evening with the Kelmeister and Kelmeister's husband, I found hoont vomit all over the place.
He's refused to eat today and looks like he's got the flu or something.
He seems ok, just down and depressed.
I'm hoping he's ok and there's nothing wrong with him. Especially with our expected 45 or so house guests tomorrow.
So He-Who-Poops-A-Lot went to the vet this morning for a check-up and it was less than perfect to say the least.
The good news is that the bump on his abdomen appears to be a benign fatty deposit as expected.
The bad news? Well. There's a couple things.
First off he unexpectedly has fleas! Yes! And I never saw them.
He sits on my lap all the time. I play with him all the time. And I constantly go over him and his belly and his face and ears and never saw them.
Sure enough, while at the vet today, there was a flea on him.
If I had bathed him last night like I wanted to I would have used his usual flea soap and seen the dead bastards floating in the tub. Alas, I watched Doctor Who instead and slacked off.
But fleas for the most part are a nuisance that all pet owners eventually have to deal with so we'll deal with it.
The old House of Love II had a flea problem (not caused by The Hoont) and while bad, we dealt with it.
Personally, I think this is recent and isolated to him since the cats have exhibited no flea symptoms and quite frankly, Giga has tats on his chest that say "Skeeters and Fleas Eat Me!" and neither of us has been bitten that we know of.
Tomorrow'll bring laundering the bed, spraying some things down, and cleaning up some things on the first floor.
Now unfortunately the vet found something else that I never noticed. And me and the Hoont hold staring contests and other things throughout the week so I'd figured this would have been obvious.
The vet found this rather massive sore/tumor/unknown thing on the left side under his tongue. It really was huge. She biopsied it and it is off the pathology and we'll know the results in a few days.
I'm hoping this is a result of this one bone rib he's been gnawing on and not anything beyond that.
Oh. And he also out of the blue has whipworms. He's never ever had any kind of parasite and now he has these. He's on a treatment for these too.
Insanity.
The earliest picture of The Hoont when he was just 8 or so weeks old.
Laser sent me a link to this video.
Does dog waste hold the answer to high gas prices? (ABC News)
The Hoont = Future Goldmine
Scipio's latest post over at The Absorbascon has a lot of truth in it that most of you don't know.
There're probably no more than, say, 130,000 gorillas worldwide. In the U.S., there's only about 350. By comparison, there are over 51,000 dachshunds in the U.S. Gorillas are in the comics all the time; but how many times do you see a dachshund? Almost never, even though any fool knows dachshunds are more dangerous than gorillas.True.This is kind of info I have to keep from my dog, because, while a ticked gorilla is still throwing leaves around and having an ostentatious hissy fit, the wily dachshund will have already tripped you, crushed your trachea, and, as you suffocate, be sitting on your chest chewing on your ribs while farting in your face. And wagging his tail.
That first face? A gentle giant of a vegetarian, our simple minded cousin who wants only to live in peace and indolence with Jane Goodall and her Everything Bag by his side. The second? Pure Evil with a Kung Fu Mouthgrip. There was no serpent in the Garden of Eden, folks; they just couldn't see the dachshund's legs. Forget that movie everyone's hyped about; when they come out with the sequel, "Dachshunds on a Plane", then I will be scared.
Yet gorillas, not dachshunds (or any other dog, for that matter), are the big threats in so many stories. Scores of gorillas, many of them bent on world domination. How many gorillas do you know in real life interested in world domination? Zero. Again, gorillas pale as a threat when compared to dachshunds, all of which are bent on world domination. Charles Heston would've lasted about 3 seconds on the Planet of the Dachshunds, people...
...I think only dinosaurs come close to the gorilla in their comic book Q Rating. And dinosaurs aren't a threat to anybody. Not like dachshunds, which are a threat to everybody.
They are a threat to everybody.
Every day of my life I live under the constant threat of being dismembered by The Hoont.
Do you know who the happiest dog in the world is?
Hensley is most definitely thrilled to be back in the House of Love and laying on the Furnace Vent of Love.
He's not a fan of the car trip to Glass City nor does he like the other dogs.
And a happy Hoont is the kind of Hoont I like.
