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I am The World's Most Belove Polish-American™!

Don't you ever forget it!

So there was a horrible unintentional grievance done against pierogi kind this week.

You may recall that back on Feb 17 I did some electrical work?

Well Giga was the one running down turning circuits on and off as I wired switches and lights and such.

Well the main basement lights are on the same old knob and tube circuit that the foyer and hallway is on so he had to plug in one of the shop lights on the other side of the basement.

He temporarily unplugged the freezer but of course, when all was said and done, accidentally forgot to plug it back in. We had the power off for some time while I redid both lighting fixtures so I can see how it could happen.

Alas, tonight was the night that Mister and Miss JackOfAllGeeks were coming over for pierogies, kapusta, and this noodle dish she makes.

That isn't exactly going to happen as planned now so I'm running out to get kielbasa in lieu of pierogies.

So tomorrow evening, after trash pickup, we have an entire freezer full of pierogies, ice cream, and miscellaneous meat and other things to throw away.

Sucks to be us.

I discovered the PolishForums.com today.

Why did it take me this long to find this?!?!?!

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So we rolled.

We stuffed.

We stuffed some more.

We continued to stuff.

We fried.

We ate.

Then we ate some more.

Then Wedge and I cleaned and talked to the NalaMatka while the others watched Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Then Wedge went back on the Christmas tree!

All in all it was an extremely long day.

I'd hazard to guess we made upwards of 110 dozen pierogies of various kinds but I lost count early on.

If we could only improve the bottleneck of the dough rolling and cutting I think we could easily make 200 but I don't see how that is possible with the current methods.

Anyway. There's a shitload of pierogi in the freezer!

Not even death can keep a Pole down!

You cannot escape our powers!

Happy Pułaski Day!

100-pound dumpling caps Pierogi Fest

"I am half-Polish and have been around pierogi all my life. And, believe it or not, I had a dream about my Uncle Emil, who is deceased," King said. "We were eating pierogi together and he told me to cook the world's largest pierog.

That there's a challenge!

Happy Dyngus Day!

Next year I'm taking the day off and going to Buffalo! I have to!

But anyway, Dyngus Day reminds me of pussy willows, and pussy willows always reminds me of Serial Mom, and Serial Mom reminds me of this exchange:

T-Minus 3 days until Dyngus Day!

Do you have your pussywillows and water?

I'd be lying to you all if I said that I'm normal these days.

Mentally I'm a total mess and over the past few months the depression has been creeping back in a little bit each day.

June hit and it basically felt as if my life came to a complete standstill.

2005 saw so much change and yet 2006 has basically been a major exercise in stagnation.

I can't get my ahead around getting back on track and focused like I was in June and July of last year.

The basement work barely budges anymore. I manage about 6-8 hours a week after work and only that if I'm lucky.

There's no way I'll be able to wrap this up by September. Mid-October maybe but definitely not before that.

Weight-wise I'm holding at around the dreaded 240 where I have been since October of last year. I go up and down about 2 lbs every few days due to water but otherwise, even with such horrible slacking on my exercise, I'm maintaining.

I should have been a solid 210-220 by now but I'm just no longer mentally there like I was last year.

The shoulder still hurts. It felt good enough and pain-free for me to tell the physical therapist that it probably made no sense to continue. Of course, a couple of hours in the basement yesterday brought about all kinds of tightness in the muscles.

I just wish I could get back into the head space I was in last year.

It was so much of a better place to be.

Meat Now America's No. 2 Condiment (Onion)

According to the report, this growth will continue into the next century, with such new innovations as smearable beef packets, kielbasa chutney, and squeeze-bottled chicken.

What can't it do?

Polish Male + Alcohol + 100lb Saint Bernard + Window = Bad Craziness.

No. Really.

Today's Dyngus Day.

You heathens can have your St. Patrick's Day. You can have your Victoria Day. You can have your День Согласия и Примирения. You can have your Nikolaustag.

Us Poles?

We got our Dyngus Day.

So all you single girls out there.

Be afraid. Be very very afraid.

Dyngus Day envy is why the motherland has constantly been invaded over the past 1000 years.

But one day you'll all understand.

One day the Chinese will have Dyngus Day.

One day Sri Lankans will have Dyngus Day.

Oh yes.

One day.

The deluge will come.

Now you all know that I haven't been a follower of Cathol for about 24 years now and well, I'll let each and every human decide what's best for them in terms of spirituality and magic of what have you.

Of course, you all know I despise magic in all its human-fear forms too and that's why I had to say goodby to Cathol, magic resurrections, and invisible things.

But with the Christian Easter season upon us, I find myself being stirred by embedded ethnic rituals going back deep into my Pole consciousness and while it is steeped in magic, there's the inherent "hope" within the ritual that I find pleasing.

No. I'm not talking about the fast approaching joy of Dyngus Day.

I'm talking about Swieconka, the Polish tradition that happens on Holy Saturday where baskets of food are taken to the church and blessed by the priest or bishop. The blessing is to sanctify the food to be eaten on Easter Sunday, with the inherent message of a good and bountiful Spring season.

Now I remember as a kid prepping the baskets with easter eggs, bread, meats, and especially these little butter lambs with peppercorn eyes. We'd take these to St. Adalbert's in Lagrainka and the priest would come by and say a prayer and bless the basket with holy water (not all that different from these net pics I found).

Of course, such magic rituals as prayer and "blessings" messed me up as a child. I remember thinking that I had to eat one of the blessed eggs or the butter from the butter lamb so that it would somehow go into my body and change me for the better. I didn't want to burn in hell when I died and anything "blessed by a priest" had to be helpful to not buring in perdition. (Hell. I remember people filling up bottles of holy water at the shrine in Carey, Ohio so they could drink the water and be blessed. Bad crazyness.)

Such religious control nonsense. But hey, I was indoctrinated by the magicians so I had little choice in the matter at the time.

But now, as an adult, there's a certain fondness for the memory of the "making of the baskets" and the basic "alien ritual" of Swieconka, While I lived and breathed Lagrainka, it was normal because Lagrainka was Polish. However as I changed schools and met people of other cultures, Swieconka was totally alien to them and now I realize it is part of the inherent baggage of being raised Polish Catholic.

While I can't agree with the magicness of it, I can't help but longing for this Polish-ness that is totally gone from my life and barely exists for me anymore.

All I have are memories.

And weird events that I no longer believe in such as Easter, that trigger cascades of Lagrainka-based past reality for me.

I came across namestatistics.com today [via] and of course, as expected, my real life name is incredibly rare.

My first name merits only a "very rare male name" comment and the last name surprisingly comes in at number 30220.

What's even more shocking is The Cousin's last name, which I've come across many times in my journeys, doesn't even get a ranking. Then again, none of my other "last names" from other ancestral gene pools have any rankings either.

Of course, there's absolutely nothing within the site to indicate where the data is being compiled from.

Theoretically, my name is as rare as Landocalrissian Butler's name.

So my Cio Cia Pat send me an email that had been forwarded and forwarded ad naseum.

I've cleaned it up a bit and added personal commentary.

Yes. Today is that great holiday that I still occasionally mark on my calendar in memory of my busia Martha.

It is Six Kings Day!

Now to the rest of Poles, Americans, Polish-Americans, worshippers of Cathol, and pretty much the rest of the world today is called the Epiphany, a holiday that celebrates Mary finally being able to take the Christmas decorations down in the stable because the Magi arrived and left.

It was tradition for my busia to leave her tree and crap up until this date, January 6, because it was all a part of the "12 Days of Christmas" insanity.

But my busia was always confusing January 6 with the Ephiphany's 3 Magi/Wise-Men/Kings and hence, the birth of Six Kings Day! (She was a little confusing at times. What can ya do!)

I hope people don't think that tonight's Trivial Pursuit night is really about playing the game and eating. Hell no! You are all going to be packing up the geek tree and helping me sand and scrape the front bedroom.

And then, and only then, may you watch the new episode of BG!

How I spent my Sunday evening

Here's another reason why Poles rock the balls!

From Poland: the most fantastic Godzilla movie posters EVER!!!

Deep down inside I know that you all wish you were Polish.

At best guess there are about 500 pierogies in my freezer right now. Maybe a dozen or so less since we've eaten a few and gave a few out.

It all turned out really good with the only problem being that I made enough fillings to last for a decade. We could have made probably 30 more batches of dough and worked until 4am Sunday morning to make all of them. Thankfully the potato/cheese mixture can be frozen and find other uses, the kapusta can be eaten, and the cabbage/mushroom mixture can become a soup stock base so not much will be wasted.

The beef/dill mixture pierogies tured out really good but I'm the potato/cheese and kapusta are still my personal favorites.

Mrs. T., and later J., also did a couple dozen blueberry pierogies from the same dough. They turned out well but will need to be finished off in a totally different manner than the others. Frying them in butter and onions just doesn't cut it.

The whole photo set of the day can be seen here at my Flikr accout.

I also took a few videos:

• Dough rolling and cutting.
• Pam stuffing and sealing a pierogi.
• The whole group stuffing.

If anyone wants recipes let me know. Just remember this is an extremely labor intensive job but the reward is indeed great.

Thanks to Giger, Mr. G., J., Mr. and Mrs. T., Mrs. B., Pam, and Evebird for all of the hard work and effort. Without them it wouldn't have all come together like it did.

Two fillings down.

Two more to go.

The pierogi filling preparation and cooking has begun!

I've decided on the standard potato and cheese filling, a kapusta fillling, a cabbage and mushroom filling, and a ground beef and dill filling.

I've had some form of the first 3 many times over the past 35 years but the last one seems un-pierogi like but I will try to make a few of them to see how they turn out.

Quite frankly, this whole entire event could become a disastrous mess. I've got some base recipes I'm working from but the quantities and such are going to be estimates. I have little experience in dough making so that scares me a bit too.

The actually creation of the pierogies is what really worries me. I know the shape and appearance I want but I know that is the result of using a biscuit maker/ravioli maker that seals the filling inside. I've tried about 7 different places and could find nothing that remotely would serve. So instead we've got a hodge-podge of devices that will basically cut 4" circles in the dough. These will then get a filling placed onto them and then they'll be folded into half-moon shapes. Hopefully sealing them with a fork will work.

Like I said. This can easily spiral into a $180 disaster and mess.

Of course you know I'll document the whole thing with photos so you can remind me what a fool I was for attempting this.

You know I really do need to get my ass in gear, quit this dead end job, and open up Dom Miłości Katarzyna, my future restaurant.

I don't want to have a foofy upscale place. I want a real Polish restaurant that serves decent food.

Indeed. I don't want to work with computers anymore.

Computers suck balls.

So Saturday, December 3, is tentatively set for Nala's 1st Annual Pierogi (and Kielbasa) Making Day.

This will no doubt be an extremely long and busy day due to pierogis being an extremely time consuming foodstuff to make. It is quite frankly easier to buy fresh ones if you have a deli around but hey, that's not common here in the Cowlands.

Essentially I'm thinking of setting up an assembly line in the kitchen for the pierogis and then using the dining room to make the kielbasa, with a dachshund under foot at all times.

I'm somewhat scared at all of this since it has been decades since I made these things. And when you are young, you only remember the extreme basics and none of the details.

I'm thinking of doing cabbage pierogies, potato/cheese pierogies, and maybe kapusta (sauerkraut) pierogies. Those 3 are really the easiest fillings to make. Perhaps 100 of each or so? Maybe 200 potato/cheese ones. We'll see.

Now the kielbasa will have to unfortunately be from a recipe since I have no "family" recipe to speak of. I do have a copy of Lagrainka's very own St. Adalbert's Church Recipe Book from around 1980 and it has many kielbasa recipes from people who used to live in my own hood back in Glass City.

The biggest problem with all of this is I don't have the slightest idea of quantity and cost. The kielbasa alone involves a helluva lot of pork butt and beef. Not to mention gut casing, garlic, and herbs. I really need to gather up all this info and call the ojciec and see if he can remember.

Rest assured, we'll document it all. Hell, I may even get Mr. E's video camera to really go crazy.